For all of those stuck waiting the storm out, here are the top 20 Sandy jokes and one-liners that will hopefully lighten this dark day.
1) They should rename Sandy to A-Rod, then it wouldn't hit anything.
2) They should rename Sandy to the Jets, then it would never touchdown.
3) Nothing like Hurricane Sandy to make me realize what's really important in life, internet access.
4) What do Snooki and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will blow the entire east coast to get on TV.
5) Sandy's first victim in NY city is the crane that holds up Rex Ryan's pants. (3 out of 10 on the funny meter).
6) Olive Garden Poorly Timed Ad: Go out tonight, be social.
7) I believe Hurricane Sandy and all hurricanes should have access to contraception. - Barack Obama
8) Romney has a binder full of hurricane names.
9) Did someone say Sandy was blowing people? - Bill Clinton
10) About to watch The Day After Tomorrow, that should take my mind off the hurricane.
11) Hurricane Sandy, proof that Gangnam style is an Indian Rain Dance.
12) How's the name Hurricane Sandy threatening? If you really want to scare people, call it Hurricane DickSmash.
13) Obama claims Hurricane Sandy is the result of a spontaneous butterfly.
14) "Everyone in the Hurricane's path should immediately make their way to their second or third home." I'm Mitt Romney and I approve this message.
15) New waterfront property. Conveniently located in West Virgina.
16) If you lose power, don't think of it as being caught in a blackout, think of it as temporarily falling to the dark side.
17) NJ weather alert. In the event of an emergency, find Chris Christie and hold on.
18) If Sandy were hitting Europe, we'd be starting to plan a summit to set the legislative basis to design a framework for buying a lifeboat.
19) Hurricane Sandy, because God is tired of political ads too.
20) I'm sorry for my terrible Hurricane Sandy jokes, I know they blow.