Ted, the filmmaking debut of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, is sweeping the box office and has critics raving about the pot-smoking teddy bear who has dinner and walks through the park with Mila Kunis and Mark Whalberg, as if doing grocery shopping with one's childhood favorite stuffed animal is the most normal thing to do.
Accuse me of lacking imagination or sense of irony, but there is something profoundly unsettling about sitting through a string of movie previews where A-list stars – who either won or were nominated to important awards such as the Golden Globes and the Oscars – either eat sushi with a teddy bear or pick up from school a kid born from the backyard with branches and leaves growing out of his ankles (let alone the one about Abraham Lincoln taking time off from trying to save the Union in order to hunt...vampires).
Who is writing these movies? Is Hollywood so hard up for ideas that all of a sudden a virus that feeds on human fear seems like a plausible plot? Or are they just focus-grouping the heck out of Orange County wives and Brooklyn hipsters to come up with movies about bike messengers being chased by the NYPD?
Following, the top 5 most absurd movie previews of this summer (warning: graphic language):
1. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter:
2. The Apparition:
3. Premium Rush:
5. The Odd Life of Timothy Green: