Ron Paul is the Dark Knight of Election 2012, Obama is Bane


As the presidential race between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney (and libertarian Congressman Ron Paul ... yes, he's technically still in the race) heats up, so does the hype for the new Batman movie The Dark Knight Rises, set to hit theaters nationwide July 20.

The modern Batman trilogy has proven to be allegory to a range of political undertones. Far-fetched as it may seem, the new Batman movie may actually provide a new, thought-provoking vantage point to view the 2012 elections from.

Sit tight with me, here. 

If the current presidential candidates were to star in the The Dark Knight Rises, here's what the film would look like:

1) Barack Obama is Bane

SuperpowerVenom usage (instantly pumping him up to super-human status when in a fight) — allows him to temporarily enhance his physical functions to superhuman status; he must constantly use the venom in order to maintain these superhuman functions, or else he will return to a normal human being; overdose will lead to insanity.


(1) Venom: allows him to have superhuman strength, endurance, speed, and reflexes. 


(1) Venom: without his venom, he is a normal human being; he is dependent and addicted and is just another thug without it.

Allies: Nobody

Enemies: Everybody

2) Mitt Romney is Catwoman

Superpower: Cat-like speed and agility — although not a superhero by any means, this power is useful to counteract any hard-hitting blows that other villains may seek to inflict.


(1) Feline empathy: Has an affinity for cats ("fat cats" ... if you will), large and small, who come to her rescue and defend and support her when she is in need.

(2) Master of disguise: Able to hide true intentions.


(1) Morally ambiguous: Hero or villain? Nobody really knows, which makes it hard for people to trust the person behind the mask. 

Allies: Batman (see below)

Enemies: Bane

3) Ron Paul is Batman

Superpower: None


(1) Indomitable will: Even though he does not have superpowers like his foes, he never gives up and is able to withstand amazing amounts of pain.


(1) Romance: In the comics, Batman's most well-known romance has been with Catwoman, but due to trust issues, they have both placed fighting for justice over love. 

(2) Loner status: He prefers to be an independent and a maverick rather than part of a group. 

Allies: Catwoman?

Enemies: Bane


America's Political System is Gotham City

Gotham City is currently in shambles: nobody can trust anyone or anything. As it continues to descend into chaos as a result of the presence of Bane, it needs an outsider and maverick like Batman to restore order.