Wonder Clock iPhone App Helps Women Countdown To Reproductive Armageddon


Slightly more interesting than the "cow toss" and "Fat Burner 2000" iPhone apps, The Wonder Clock entails two steps: first, paying for and downloading the app, and second, entering your date of birth.

It doesn't ask if users are female, but here's a tip: it only makes sense for female users of childbearing age. After users enter their date of birth, the app gives a countdown of how many years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds are remaining to still get pregnant and safely have a baby. This helpful day-planner has a rating of 2 stars in the app store. I'm not sure which is worse: the fact that it costs $1.99, or that all it does is give a "countdown" to reproductive Armageddon.

Otherwise known as "menopause."

Developer Mira Kaddoura says that she created the app to empower women, and is "inviting women to join the conversation" on reproduction. When users enter their birth date and get their countdown started, the app then directs you to friend The Wonder Clock on Twitter. You know: the conversation about how to retweet promotional messages about The Wonder Clock.

Here's some helpful advice from Professor Casil, whose Wonder Clock is certainly out of time:

Stop feeling pressure. When you're ready to start a family, think about it that way. Don't think about racing time on your "Wonder Clock." Forget about what male doctors say about having babies. Trust midwives and other women. A male physician told me when I was expecting my daughter, "Remember, childbirth may be painful."

Ya think, Doc?

Your baby will be half you, and half its father. When the baby turns 13 and memories of "moody Dad" strike, this advice will make a lot of sense. 

Many men are 4-5 years behind women in maturity level, and your first baby will change your relationship with your partner irrevocably. 

No matter what they say, most men greatly dislike changing diapers and getting up in the middle of the night to feed babies. You will know you made the right choice when he does it anyway.

Forget about "Wonder Clock," but never, ever, forget about your Wonder Life. It is an adventure, we only go around once, and I, and nearly every friend I've ever had, will tell you that if you have not yet had children, there is no replacement for being a mom. There's no more important, worthwhile, rewarding, frustrating, life-changing, fantastic human experience than to be a parent. Guys, this goes for you too.