Congratulations! We've made it through another Black History Month. This year, the mission to celebrate the contributions of black Americans was a resounding success. People finally get it. We're done, mission accomplished. Now bask in the Obama-hued light of "post-racial" America, and the hard won respect that came with it.
Things are looking pretty good from the mountaintop. Here are 12 facts that prove how incredibly far we've come:
1. Black people never hear offensive comments about their hair anymore.
Giuliana Rancic of E!'s Fashion Police showed the true Black History Month spirit when she claimed 18-year-old actress Zendaya's locks suggested she smelled like "patchouli oil" or "weed," perhaps the two things black people are most known for.
2. Black people aren't disproportionately targeted by police. Nope.
The U.S. Department of Justice this week released a comprehensive report accusing the Ferguson Police Department of "a pattern of racial bias and targeted abuse" of the city's black population. But that seems a bit unfair. After all, black people make up 67% of Ferguson's population but are subject to only 85% of vehicle stops, 93% of arrests and 88% of use of force incidents, the New York Times reports.
3. White people are totally on top of their black history now.
As evidenced by three intrepid white contestants proving their expertise last year on Jeopardy.
4. And they know how to celebrate without resorting to offensive stereotypes.
As a shoutout to black people and cholesterol enthusiasts of all races, Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio, made fried chicken the cornerstone of its Black History Month dining menu, according to USA Today. That's not offensive at all.
5. White people never use black issues to peddle their dubious political agendas.
Anna Duggar, star of the TLC reality series 19 Kids and Counting, retweeted the above image from the Radiance Foundation, "a conservative nonprofit that fights to end abortion," according to Radar Online. Thank you for pointing out the single greatest threat facing black people today.
6. Justice was finally served in the cases of Trayvon Martin ...
On Feb. 24, the Department of Justice paid tribute to the murdered teen by declining to file civil rights charges against George Zimmerman, who shot and killed Martin in February 2012 during a Black History Month misunderstanding.
7. Tamir Rice ...
The city of Cleveland, Ohio, celebrated Rice's memory this week by filing a court document claiming the 12-year-old's death — he was shot and killed by a Cleveland police officer in November 2014 while holding a toy gun — was the boy's own fault.
Thanks for keeping us responsible, Cleveland.
8. And Michael Brown.
The Department of Justice on Wednesday cleared former Ferguson police Officer Darren Wilson of civil rights charges in the August 2014 shooting death of Brown, an unarmed black teenager.
A fitting end to an amazing month.
9. The Academy Awards finally reflected the diversity of Hollywood's multiracial audience.
All 20 acting nominees in this year's Oscars were white, definitively proving the Oscars don't see color, just talent.
10. Black people aren't physically assaulted just for being black anymore.
Last weekend, a 44-year-old white bargoer named Jason Cuellar told 24-year-old Kenneth Hodge, who is black, that the bar they were sitting in was "not for blacks." Then he broke a bottle over the young man's head, Raw Story reported.
Nope. No racism in that story at all.
11. Businesses certainly never use ignorant ads to sell their products.
The NBA's Washington Wizards recently ran an appropriate and surprisingly accurate ad campaign in which they equated black civil rights icons to current Wizards players and owners, the Huffington Post reports. The parallels are simply uncanny.