Here's Why We Should Be Talking About Guys' Butts (Yes, Really)
"Butt play" is officially in our vernacular, now that it's embraced in pop culture and our bedrooms. Straight women are enjoying anal sex more than ever, as far as surveys and anecdotes can tell. When it comes to gay men, pop cultural depictions of anal play have come out of the closet, so to speak, with shows like Looking and How to Get Away With Murder's suggestive rimming scene.
But with the rise in anal fun, there seems to be a group of people missing from the action. Could it be that what makes many women's and queer men's eyes roll back in ecstasy be enjoyable for straight men as well?
Definitely. We just need to start talking about it.
Overcoming the straight guy stigma: Men receiving penetration in a sexually intimate experience with a woman may seem odd to the uninitiated. There are straight men out there who may immediately associate the notion with gayness, the submissiveness of butt play (even the word "bottoming" implies a power dynamic) evoking even the subtlest homophobia.
That submissive vibe may also be why we've been quicker to accept anal sex for women, based on so-called traditional gender roles. If a straight man finds pleasure in butt play, his sexuality may be questioned.
The truth is, it's less about sexual orientation than it is about sexual pleasure — and for that, what matters most is anatomy. Let's put this simply: Men have prostates. Positioned "a finger's length from the anal opening," as Mark Simpson put it in the Telegraph, the prostate can be an amazing pleasure spot for guys — "mind blowing, leg-shaking, eye-rolling, neighbor-panicking pleasure." The spot has even been dubbed "the P spot."
Partnering up: "Honestly, up until last year, I was more or less under the impression that only gay males incorporated prostate play into their sexual experiences," Ryan, a straight man, told Mic. "Spending time in sex-positive spaces via social media helped me understand that enjoying a sexual experience has little to do with your orientation. Nowadays, I'm feeling much more excited to incorporate prostate play into my sexual activity."
Incorporating the prostate can involve a woman, from hand manipulation to anilingus, the "cotton candy of assplay," to pegging (when a woman uses a strap-on dildo to top a man), which Broad City so gamely put on our radar this year.
"My wife enjoys the idea and has fun participating in the activity," Brian, a straight married man, told Mic. "By sharing my enjoyment in stimulating my prostate, my partner was able to not only join in, she was also able to enjoy the experience with me."
Going solo: But men don't have to wait for a woman to incorporate some butt play. The last frontier for straight men, in terms of comfort with all things butt-related, may be solo butt play — yep, masturbation.
YouTuber Davey Wavey recently took on this phenomena in a video of a straight man testing out his prostate with a prostate massager (men get their own vibrators too) for the first time. As the willing and able subject notes on camera, he's pleasantly surprised to realize how great the experience can be.
More and more men seem to have realized the same. "For quite some time now I have made use of my prostate to facilitate orgasms," Brian told Mic. "I find it has an enhancing quality to it and it makes my orgasms to feel much more intense."
Progress via prostates: We've come a long way when it comes to sexual acceptance, but denying sexual pleasure due to societal stigmas, especially those rooted in homophobia, is a sign of regression. If we want true sexual liberation, it's time men and women, of any sexual orientation, embrace the acts that truly give them the most pleasure — without any shame or embarrassment.
And yes, that includes anal play for straight dudes.