Dumbledore and Gandalf Had a Magical Gay Wedding Thanks to the Westboro Baptist Church


In what could be the most celebrated fictional gay romance since Bert and Ernie, J.K. Rowling's Albus Dumbledore and J.R.R. Tolkien's Gandalf the White came together in holy "magicalmony" in a ceremony Sunday in Topeka, Kansas. 

The Kansas-based nonprofit Planting Peace sponsored the event and staged it outside the group's rainbow-painted "Equality House."


In a particularly fun plot twist, the literally magical event was held right across the street from the headquarters of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church. The church has long been notorious for its protests against marriage equality and all forms of acceptance toward LGBT Americans.

What? In a strange turn of fate, the amazing union of the two wizards only came about after a Twitter spat between WBC trolls and J.K. Rowling last month. In response to Rowling's vocal support of Ireland's recent successful referendum on marriage equality, the church half-joked that if a union between the two wizards ever took place, they would be there to picket. 

With considerable experience in troll-fighting, Rowling responded like a battle-hardened Auror, openly endorsing the union and calling out WBC for what they were.

And, in the end, despite the threats and the ceremony happening in their own backyard, the church took a pass, and did the majority of their protesting via the Mouth of Sauron — also known as Twitter.

A spokesman for the church was unavailable for comment. 

While the church has certainly lost much of its fire since the death of its founder Fred Phelps last year, it is still a nest of hateful bigotry capable of causing pain and disruption wherever it goes. The genius of staging a wedding between the wizards on the church's doorstep was that it called their bluff and forced the issue into the open. Their retreat to the safety of Twitter is a good omen for the long-term success of union almost certain to become known as "Gandaldor."