Kim Kardashian West's Boob Tape Trick Puts Every Other Boob Tape Trick to Shame


Sometimes, a bra just isn't an option. And if you're Kim Kardashian West, a woman who loves herself a plunging neckline and ample cleavage, it almost never is. 

Just take a look at her in this gravity-defying dress: 

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Or this one: 

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If you're a person who has breasts (or knows about them and how they work), the question you may be asking yourself is, "How?"

How does the second eldest of the Kardashian offspring possess the power to keep her breasts so effortlessly perky? Is she a witch? A sorceress? Turns out, it's actually much simpler than you might think.

Say it with us, all: tape. And not just any tape — gaffer's tape. Though she's tried everything from duct tape to packing tape to masking tape (avoiding specially designed "rookie" breast lift tape), it's gaffer's tape that "sticks the best!" she told her app users.

And because this is a Kardashian we're talking about, she decided to tell all with a tutorial on her app that is accompanied by several pictures of her never-before-seen breast-lifting process. 

Kim Kardashian West Official App

Is she a genius? Probably. 

Now let's get serious. If you've ever faced the predicament Kardashian West frequently does, you may have tried the taping method yourself. There are Pinterest boards and XoJane articles telling women how to tape their breasts to infinity and beyond. But chances are, if you've been brave enough to try, you ended up a sweaty, sagging mess

But Kardashian West is famous for her high-maintenance, many detailed wardrobe that we normal human women marvel at, if not envy. And we have heretofore been taping our breasts wrong, apparently, simply because we had not yet received personal guidance from Kardashian West. So let this full-figured multimillionaire tell us how it's done. 

The most important part of achieving gravity-ignorant cleavage, according to Kardashian West, is having support in the form of several assistants. Depending on how comfortable you are with stripping down, this may be terrifying, but, as she wrote, "trust me it's all worth it LOL." 

If you say so, Kim. 

Kim Kardashian West Official App

Now may be the time when you start to think about how Kardashian West gets this tape off her body. Surely, the same assistants who put the tape on her are helping her take it off, but she does take the time to tell her fans to "brace yourself," which means exactly one thing: This hurts... a lot. If you've ever ripped a Band-Aid off your knee and cringed, just think about ripping literal tape from some of your most tender skin. 

But what we have learned from Kardashian West's tutorial is valuable: It is possible to get a breast lift and cleavage for less than $20. Oh, and Kardashian West is not only stronger than us, but a woman of many valuable secrets. 

Next time, Kim, we beg you to tell us how you manage to walk in heels like this every day. 

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We need to know. 

h/t Buzzfeed