Instagram's Latest Update Will Make It Easier For You to Stalk the Shit Out of People


In the days of yore, low-key stalking someone on Instagram required some degree of effort. If you felt the urge to see some asshole you're obsessed with's collection of Hefe-filtered latte art in one place, then guess what? You had to physically tap your way over to their actual profiles. Just like, say, a stalker would.

Well, here's some good news: Instagram has announced it plans to begin delivering "the moments you care about most" directly to your feed, via an algorithm based on how much past stalkerish behavior you've already exhibited toward any given user on your follow list.

"The order of photos and videos in your feed will be based on the likelihood you'll be interested in the content, your relationship with the person posting and the timeliness of the post," Instagram said in a post Tuesday.

So, congrats! No more having to deal with posts from people who aren't that person with whom you're clearly obsessed. And no more going through the shame of physically tapping over to that person's profile. 

Soon you'll be able to engage in the light stalking you love so much without having to be reminded of the sad, sad fact that you will never actually be with that person IRL.