This Champagne Gun Is the Most Important Thing You Won't Buy Today

It's the gun absolutely no one is saying we need to control. 

The Miami-based company King of Sparklers is now peddling what is almost certainly the world's first Champagne-shooting weapon.

The Super Soaker-esque device was invented by France-based company Extra-Night, but is as Miami as it gets. Available in gold, rose gold and chrome, the gun can hold a magnum-sized amount of Champagne from any brand. (No word on whether the gun accepts Champagne's lesser cousin, sparkling wine, but we know you'd never ask.)

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In its full glory, it looks something like this.

Source: YouTube

The gun can shoot a continuous spray of bubbly up to 23 feet for 45 seconds before it needs to be reloaded, and it can be yours for $459 — a steal when you consider the boat you'll apparently need to offload your $1,300 bottle of Dom.

For those looking for more economical uses, the gun can also pour Champagne, as one traditionally would into glasses or mouths, for consumption.

Source: YouTube

According to the Miami New Times, while the Champagne Gun has only recently hit the market, it has already unloaded some inventory at popular Miami bars. 

Impulse buyers — shoot for the stars.

Correction: March 17, 2016