Anna Kendrick Just Wants a Strapping, Muscular Man to Come Over and Dice Her Squash
For generations, moms have taught little boys the importance of kindness and generosity as the way to a woman's heart. But there's one thing they forgot to mention: knowing how to dice a woman's squash — a skill that requires strength, stamina and, of course, "the right equipment."
Which brings us to Pitch Perfect actor and generally relatable woman Anna Kendrick, who unsuccessfully tried to dice her own butternut squash before posting the following extremely thirsty tweet on March 28.
Honestly: same. I happen to be a man myself, but I'm not strapping or muscular, and I definitely don't have steady hands. I cannot dice my own squatter nut bosh. I would very much like a strapping muscular man to come over and do it for me. Also, I am lazy.
Luckily for Anna Kendrick, her Twilight Saga co-star Kellan Lutz is 6'1" and knows how to dice a woman's squash. He tweeted at Kendrick two hours after her initial plea, asking, "What kind of a knife do you have? Sunglasses emoji."
So happy for you, Anna! It sounds like Kellan is more than willing to step up and #DiceDatSquash for you.
As for the rest of us, here is a video tutorial/some porn from Martha Stewart on how to cut your own squash. Because while it's nice to be able to dial up some Tinder fuckboy and have him dice your butternut squash for you, it's also important that you learn how to do it yourself.