Let's say you're a man. Let's say a woman has just rejected your sexual advances.
Whatcha gon' do about it?
You could say something like, "Oh, OK," and then leave. You could make a goofy joke, like "Well, can't blame a guy for trying!" and laugh it off. You could do like Drake did when Rihanna friend-zoned him onstage earlier this month and just keep on singing your song, unfazed.
You could fart on her.
The pair had discussed having sex, but when the woman declined, her male acquaintance left in a huff – literally.
Let's assume, for a moment, that this story is true, and not a delightfully sophomoric pre-April Fools' joke. There are two obvious takeaways here:
1. This woman should be applauded for doing something we've all wanted to do at some point or another, which is call 911 when a fart crosses the line. (You know the line when you smell it.)
2. A woman should be able to say "no" to a man without having to worry about getting farted on in retaliation.
Is this the first time an unhinged straight dude has done some reprehensible shit in the face of rejection? LOL, as if. If he's not farting on you, he's probably sending 28 unsolicited texts in a row about how you're making a huge mistake by rejecting him. Or perhaps he's harassing you across various forms of social media and furiously demanding an explanation for why you didn't want to give him a chance. Or maybe he's printing out longwinded letters about how "nice guys finish last" and plastering them all over town with duct tape, much like a serial killer might.
Actually, you know what? Suddenly a fart seems kinda tame. Adorable, even.
h/t the Local