In Honor of Earth Day, Here Are 21 Ways to Celebrate the Earth in Your Sex Life
It's April 22. Happy Earth Day, everyone!
Technically, Earth Day is about environmental responsibility and activism. But that doesn't mean you can't show your love for the planet in other ways. For example: you could have some super hot Earth-themed sex. All you have to do is get Mother Nature involved. So check out the following super kinky Earth Day sex tips.
1. Wrap your wiener in a condom made of grass.
2. Use a 40/60 mixture of mud and rainwater as lube.
3. Dust your mattress with a thin layer of Nature's Care organic garden soil.
4. Plant some vegetable seeds in your partner's vagina.
5. Instead of anal beads, consider this: a live earthworm.
6. Caress you partner's body with an antique globe during foreplay.
7. Instead of anal beads, consider this: an antique globe.
8. Create a fire by rubbing two dicks together.
9. If you're flying solo, try to work a pinecone into your masturbation routine.
10. Do it on a smooth strip of dirt in the woods.
11. Do it on a large rock in the woods.
12. Do it on a pile of dead leaves in the woods.
13. Do it on a copy of the bestselling 2007 Irish mystery novel In the Woods.
14. Redecorate your entire apartment using only earth tones, then fuck someone in it.
15. Make a sensual sex playlist featuring only songs from legendary singer/actress Eartha Kitt, whose first name begins with the word "Earth."
16. Talk dirty by metaphorically referring to all your orifices as "holes in the earth's crust."
17. Massage your partner's clitoris with a patch of moss.
18. Fashion some sexy, sustainable lingerie out of a frog's lily pad.
19. Conserve energy by recruiting a wild fox to lick your partner's balls on your behalf.
20. Use seaweed as a cum rag.
21. Try not to litter, and always remember to recycle.