This Viral Video Imagines What Hooking Up Would Be Like In a Perfect World
Humans tend to jump through a lot of hoops just to initiate sex.
Rather than tell a hot stranger that you'd like to bang them, it's generally more acceptable to go on a date and at least engage in some light chit-chat first. Even once a casual relationship has been established, most people would rather beat around the bush and invite someone over to, say, watch Netflix and chill.
"I find you to be rather sexually appealing. Would you consider going home with me to copulate?" an image of Robert Downey Jr. asks an image of Scarlet Johansson, who quickly shoots him down.
"Unfortunately, I am currently mating with another male human on a regular basis," she says.
Undeterred, RDJ then hits up Gwyneth Paltrow, whom he also finds attractive, and *ding* — it's a match! She wants to bang too.
"Thank God we didn't have to spend hours of small talk pretending we weren't going to screw, only to end up inevitably screwing several hours from now, which we both intended to happen anyway," our male protagonist proclaims.
"Yes, thank God," Gwyneth responds. "What a stupid world it would be where people had to do that to get laid."
Very simple, not at all complicated.
It's worth noting that the directness of this made-up video doesn't compare to the directness of suitors in places like gay hookup app Grindr, in which "Good evening" would simply be replaced with a dick pic and an address.
But anyway, here's a semi-related fun fact: Did you know that sex with the real Gwyneth Paltrow would actually cost tens of thousands of dollars to properly execute because of her expensive taste in sex toys, lubes and wellness products? It's true!
Watch the full clip below: