8 New Dating Terms That Are Totally the New "Ghosting"
Every so often, a catchy new term emerges to describe the shitty behavior of single people who are just not that into the person they're casually dating.
Last year, it was "ghosting" — in which you unceremoniously vanish without explanation, like a ghost. Then came "haunting," which is basically when you ghost someone but then resurface later to occasionally like their shit on Instagram, just to screw with their head.
And now we have "benching," which Jason Chen at New York Magazine's Beta Male describes as that thing you do to a guy when you "ping him occasionally, just enough to pique his interest and dangle the carrot of a possible relationship without ever actually following through with plans."
These three terms are great. But surely there are even more creative ways we can describe all the noncommittal things we do to subtly tell people (without actually telling them) that we're not interested in seeing them anymore. Below: Eight new terms coined by Mic that are totally the new ghosting!
1. Kaying: In which you reply to all their texts with nothing more than "k."
2. Ellipsing: In which you always start typing a reply and then never finish, so that you're effectively only communicating to the person via mysterious ellipses.
3. Uberghosting: In which you prematurely call them an Uber that they didn't ask for, and then ghost them.
4. Mariahing: In which you reply to all their texts with a curt "I don't know her."
5. Tackling: Similar to benching, but instead of stringing someone along with vague expressions of interest, simply tackle them to the ground multiple times in a row until they get a concussion and have to go to the hospital. That should buy you some time.
6. Goblining: Similar to ghosting, but instead of disappearing without notice, you send a courtesy breakup text that says, "I'm sorry, I cannot date you because I am a goblin."
7. Exorcizing: In which you reply to your date's suggestion of "We should hang out again" by spraying them with holy water.
8. Duck Duck Goosing: In which you explain to someone that although they're nice and all, they happen to be a duck — and you're looking for a relationship with a goose.