Poet Nails What It’s Like to Be Short and Have "Ariana Grande Syndrome"


When slam poet Charles Hines stepped up to the mic at the College Union Poetry Slam Invitational, he offered up a moving ode to the traumatic condition that's affected him all his life.

"My condition isn't taught about in schools. You can't find it in textbooks, scientists are still studying its origins," Hines says in melodramatic tones. "It's a condition uncommonly known as... Ariana Grande Syndrome."

With his big punchline revealed, Hines delivers the rest of his poem tongue-in-cheek, playing into his audience's laughter.

"For those who don't know, Ariana Grande Syndrome is the major flaw in always looking like a minor," Hines says, adding that the malady is called as much as a tribute to the singer it shares a name with, who is "known for being the exact opposite of her name."

"Developing to look underdeveloped, maybe we hit puberty so hard it stopped," Hines, who hails from the University of Central Florida, speculates.

But as the poem progresses and the laughs get louder, it becomes clear that Hines has an inspirational message for all of his vertically-challenged peers.

"We short people speak louder in order to be heard. We jump higher in order to be seen. You may look over us, but you can't overlook what we've done," he says. 

"All the bark with twice the bite, we're changing this world with half the height."

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