What someone eats and drinks can significantly influence the taste of their seminal and vaginal fluids, sexologist Timaree Schmit said in an email.
"There's never been a full-fledged experiment performed and reported in an academic journal, but there is a substantial [amount] of anecdotal evidence about the way that a variety of foods, drinks and activities affect the taste of cum," she said.
Why the link between food and flavor down there? Cum, like other bodily fluids, is representative of general health. "You can see the effects of what the body takes in by looking at what it releases," she noted.
Smell is especially important for arousal, Schmit said. "We can unconsciously gauge health, hormones, even chromosomal similarity to a partner through smell," she explained. There's a whole body of evidence demonstrating that our noses can sniff out pheromones, which help us identify a whole host of things about a person, including whether or not they'd be a compatible mate.
So, what foods will make your partner enjoy licking your lollipop?
Pineapple and citrus fruits are associated with a sweeter taste, Schmit said. The Internet agrees. The food website Pork & Gin asked six couples to eat pineapple and have oral sex for one week. The result: Participants whose partners ate 200 grams of pineapple a day reported that the pineapple eaters did in fact taste sweeter.
According to Schmit, vegan and vegetarian diets could also lead to a sweeter taste. (Just one more bullet point on the long list of plant-based eaters bragging rights.)
And in general, health nuts might taste better downstairs. Avoiding processed foods and getting enough exercise would also lead to a more pleasant taste, Schmit said. On the other hand, Schmit noted meat, dairy and booze will reportedly cause a more sour taste. (Sorry, cheese lovers.)
But it should go without saying that vaginas and penises will never taste like a real milkshake, and people shouldn't be hyper-conscious about how their genitals taste and smell. "Vaginas don't taste like cupcakes, they taste like vaginas," Schmit said. And cum won't ever taste like cotton candy, she noted.
"If someone is inspired to eat healthier, get exercise, quit smoking, etc. because they want to be better tasting: Awesome!" Schmit said. But don't feel obligated to eat pineapple by the pound or forego a drink on date night in the name of sweet-tasting nether regions.
If you or your partner smell especially funky, it's more likely to be a sign of infection, Schmit said. Check yourself before you wreck yourself (or spend way too much money on tropical fruit).