This Parody Article by "Hillary Clinton" Actually Speaks Some Truth About Her Campaign
After watching Hillary Clinton go from two-term first lady to two-term senator to U.S. secretary of state to the Democratic party's presumptive presidential nominee, one apparent Clinton supporter had a few choice words for anyone doubting Clinton's ability to occupy the nation's highest office: "What the fuck is your problem, America?"
On Monday, a writer under the pseudonym "Hillary Clinton" published a now-viral article on Medium entitled "Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am." (The writer's handle is, appropriately, "shitHRCcantsay.")
"I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you," "Clinton" wrote. "And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November."
For anyone still unpersuaded, the essay reminded readers of Clinton's core beliefs and values: "We want economic and racial justice, we want to seriously attack climate change, we want everyone to be able to afford college and health care and housing and food, we want women to be treated like humans, yada yada yada."
And, shitHRCcantsay staunchly maintained, Clinton is the "only person in this goddamn country who knows how to do it."
But shitHRCcantsay didn't expect readers to be merely convinced with their, ahem, rather direct message. The writer came with the receipts: links to Clinton's policy proposals for addressing climate change, "reining in" Wall Street and fixing the economy.
The vehement calls from Republicans to prosecute Clinton for her use of a private email server during her time as secretary of state (or worse — execute her, as a Donald Trump adviser suggested) simply prove all of these points, shitHRCcantsay said.
"I've spent my life clawing my way into a system that's terrified of change," the essay continued. "A system that just wants to let rich white dudes be rich white dudes."
As for Trump? Clinton's parody said bring it on:
"And holy shit, you guys, I could not have picked a better opponent for my final boss battle."
Your move, Trump.