Emmy Awards Winners: Homeland and Modern Family Win Big, But No Love for Jon Hamm

The Emmys are here indeed. Tonight, all sorts of Hollywood big-wigs will convey upon one location to congratulate each other on their abilities to not have a proper job, all for our viewing pleasure. Elena is already doing a professional, proper live-blog of the event and, to avoid redundancy, I'll do mine with a slightly comical slant, and I'll try to follow each event with a little quip - Because quipping is what I do moderately well ... Depending on the weather.

Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Claire Danes, Bryan Cranston ... There are a lot shows and people competing for the awards, and I hope one of them wins. You want to see people winning? Come hope with me!

Maybe we'll even get a Janet Jackson Incident this year!

PolicyMic will be following the Emmy's live. Bookmark and refresh this page for all the most recent updates and full analysis.

11:00 Well, that's it. Thanks for following this live blog. Now I'll have me a big ole popsicle to comemorate.

10:57 What is it with all this yellow today?  Do you get a tax break if you wear yellow to the Emmys??? Maybe you can write off a yellow-dress as a "Attention-Getting Apparel", which is very important if you work as an actor.

10:56 Michael J. Fox should get the award for Best Guy Ever.

10:51 Emmy's close to wrap-up, and I'm close to becoming Perez Hilton.

10:48 Homeland wins, but I almost missed it due to the glare from Julianne Moore's dress.

10:46 Game Change wins again. I bet now they will do a sequel about Paul Ryan, but it will be called "Game Same".

10:38 It's good that Kevin Costner won the award. Maybe now he can hock it to recoup the losses from Waterworld.

10:36 Ginnifer Goodwin is too cute to be human, she has to be from another planet. And I bet she's here illegally, too. Someone set the INS on her ass right now!

10:27 Julianne Moore, Tina Fey... The Sarah Palin train is the ticket to success for an actress.

10:24 Okay just one more: Ron Howard looks like a goblin who won first-prize in the "Gremlin Look-Alike Competition".

10:23 Stay classy Daniel Tanure, stay classy...

10:18 Ok, Ron Howard looks like Skeletor's bumpkin cousin from the countryside. "Yee haw, Skel! When're we heading out to one o' them fancy-ass dancing clubs?! I got me a serious hankerin' for some uppa class tail!"

10:17 Ron Howard looks like...

Ah, forget it. Too easy.

10:15 Tom Berenger got supporting actor in a drama or minisseries. Nothing funnt about that.

10:06 Steve Buscemi is proof positive that there is life after death. Or, at least, that dead people can walk and talk like the rest of us.

10:02 I'm disappointed with life too... My mom always said I'd get employee of the month one day, and it never happened.

09:55 Big ups to Jon Stewart. Classy guy. Thank god the award didn't go to Bill Maher.

09:53 They shouldn't have given this award to this guy so soon. I bet he'll phone it in big time from now on. He already got the goddamn award, after all.

09:50 Few people know this, but Ricky Gervais was cursed when he was little. If he ever says the letter "T" he will spontaneously combust.

09:45 I remember Louis C.K. from his appearance on Dr. Katz. Dude deserved the award.

09:44 Claire Danes won. Her dress is the biggest yellow thing I've ever seen. But I'm still in love.

09:36 I heart Tina Fey big time, but she does have the smallest mouth in the world, doesn't she? I don't think she can eat anything bigger than a marshmallow.

09:30 Damian Lewis just won the award for "Face That Looks The Most Like Ren From Ren & Stimpy".

09:27 If you look at that dress and cross your eyes, you'll see a 3d image of a bear holding a daisy.

09:23 Damn Giancarlo Esposito is a dapper guy. I think he'd be the kind of dude who'd lecture me on the importance of an honest day's work if I he caught me panhandling on the street corner.

Actually, I think he already did that once.

09:18 WHAT??? Hayden Panetiere gets a free award just because the actual winner couldn't be there??? She doesn't even look like Maggie Smith.

09:16 Homeland won Writing for a Drama Series and Claire Danes is still not my girlfriend.

09:13 There's got to be something very wrong with a world where Claire Danes is not my girlfriend.

09:07 I propose a new conspiracy theory: Peter Dinklage didn't get the award because they were afraid he wouldn't be able to carry it around and making a smaller statue would just be offensive.

09:05 I chose to hear "The Winner is Ron Paul". At least he got something after the RNC fiasco.

09:03 Ok, we're finally getting to the part of the Emmys that matter. No more clowning around.

08:59 I'm relieved I'm not the only one who doesn't very much get the mystery behind the workings of technology. Thanks Seth MacFarlane.

08:57 It's a shame The Big Bang Theory has a laughtrack. Without it they'd be a lock for the Drama category.

08:52 James Van Der Beek is obviously awe struck with the dark-skinned gentleman by his side. There wasn't any of that in Dawson's Creek.

08:49 "Reality Show"is a bit of a misnomer isn't it? The relation of reality shows to reality is akin to the relation of egg creams with eggs.

08:46 Julia Louise Dreyfus won. I guess this validates her long long overtime after Seinfeld.

08:41 Bit of a technical difficulty there (read: I'm a complete moron) 

08:39 Okay I'm on the air!