What to buy the person who has everything? This $85 rock wrapped in a rock diaper.
The holidays are a time of worry, fear and anxiety about buying just the right gift for your loved ones. What to buy aunt Carol? What to buy grandma Rose? What to buy uncle Bob? What to buy anyone on your list at all?
But never fear, dear readers, because Nordstrom has somehow remarkably concocted a gift you can really give to anyone.
What the retailer is banking on this year is that as you toss around in bed, racked with anxiety about buying the incorrect gift for a loved one, you'll jolt awake and mutter, "I know. I'll buy a rock."
It has a certain sophistication, no? Maybe it takes you back to a simpler time, an easier time. Maybe it takes you back to a time when pet rocks were a thing.
Regardless of your wandering thoughts, though, it's important to note that this rock does not come with one purpose in mind. It's purpose is so mysterious that even Nordstrom is in favor of leaving your options open.
"A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art?" Nordstrom ponders. "It's up to you, but this smooth Los Angeles-area stone — wrapped in rich, vegetable-tanned American leather secured by sturdy contrast whipstitching — is sure to draw attention wherever it rests."
Unless you're resting it in a, you know, large pile of gravel or the desert.
What's really selling this item, other than the obviously glorious elegance, is the reviews that have rolled in for the rock. To say the least, people are fucking jazzed about this rock, man.
"When I read the design embodied both 'simplicity and functionality,' I thought there was no way this could be achieved," one reviewer wrote. "But when I finally got my hand crafted, leather wrapped rock, I was astonished. It really was completely simple yet functioned perfectly. In fact, I've never owned a rock that could function better this product. Does everything a rock is suppose to do even with the leather covering. I mean everything!"
We're so glad to hear.
Also, if $85 seems steep for you, never fear.
There's a smaller rock, in an even smaller diaper, on sale on Nordstrom.com right now for $65.
If you need further convincing, let this review speak for itself: "Crafted by the hands of Zeus, this is the perfect gift."
Who's gonna argue with that?