Everyone has their own morbid curiosities that may seem strange; my cat Puma, for instance, has an unwavering obsession with plastic — if he sees it, he will touch it, lick it and purr incessantly. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story star Diego Luna (aka Cassian Andor) has one that falls a little closer to the franchise to which he now belongs. You see, Luna really likes Jabba the Hutt.
Yes, Jabba is an entertaining villain in the original trilogy and there are fewer moments in Star Wars more satisfying than Princess Leia choking him to death in Return of the Jedi. But Luna wants more from Jabba. He wants to know what Jabba feels like — the texture, the sliminess — and would even consider giving Jabba a French kiss.
That's the big revelation from an entertaining montage by Twitter user @tolkienianjedi, in which Luna expresses his fascination for Jabba over several interviews.
"Jabba," he says tenderly in one interview. "I want to touch Jabba. I know it sounds gross, but it might be delicious."
In another interview alongside Rogue One costar Felicity Jones, Luna is asked if he would rather French kiss Jabba or punch an Ewok in the face. Luna doesn't understand the parameters of a French kiss at first — it involves tongue, the interviewer informs him. This important detail only entices Luna more. Of course, in this hypothetical scenario, he'd prefer to French kiss Jabba.
Over the course of this nearly two-minute montage, one has to wonder: What does Jabba the Hutt feel like? He was actually a gigantic puppet in the original trilogy and the sliminess Jabba exudes is apparently the result of Star Wars sound designer Ben Burtt running his hands through a cheese casserole. Sadly, it means the texture probably isn't comparable to the sound, which seems to be the center of Luna's infatuation.
Still, Lucasfilm needs to set him up with some type of Jabba meet and greet — or more accurately, a meet and touch. The company is at least somewhat indebted to Luna for the critical and financial success of Rogue One. It's a small gesture that would answer a lifelong mystery for the actor.
"And then I'm obsessed with the texture of Jabba," Luna said in another interview. "You've never dreamed about touching Jabba? I mean, it must be quite disgusting."
The Force willing, we hope you get your Jabba touch someday.
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