Good news: It seems Hot Topics across America haven't changed a bit since you outgrew your emo-goth phase.
On Monday, an employee at the one-stop shop for studded belts, chokers and black nail polish recorded a conversation he had with a customer who stopped by the store that was rather... er, enlightening?
"I'm returning home but I'm going to come back," the customer says in the footage — which the employee, Twitter user @pamyuprince, has since deleted. "But I'm going to make it that no human is permitted to use power without sanction."
The man continues, "I am the sovereign of power and I'm going to become what my father was before my birth — the Eternal Dragon Guardian of Time."
The employee keeps his cool throughout the customer's more than two-minute monologue — which, in a followup tweet, he said lasted for over 45 minutes — interjecting with "Oh my goodness" and "Oh yeah, most definitely," even when the customer dives into the specifics of a "blood contract."
When another Twitter user asked how the conversation started, @pamyuprince said that the customer had first mentioned needing to "buy camo for his aunt's funeral" before launching into his tirade.
A fashion statement indeed.
According to a fan forum, the "Eternal Dragon Guardian of Time" the customer mentioned may have been a reference to a similarly named character from the online game AdventureQuest. The character's bio on the site reads: "Living in the Void, the Eternal Dragon of Time maintains time and order throughout the universe. His heart, an hourglass filled with the sands of time, continues absorbing the the dark energy from great monsters we have defeated thus far."
It goes on to specify that the six-headed dragon must speak certain "magical words" every 10 years, or else it will sprout another head.
Perhaps the Hot Topic customer's soliloquy came right on time.