It's 2017. Why do rain boots still suck so much?

Let us paint you a picture. You just got all dressed and you're about to leave the house for work. You check the weather app on your phone, see there's a chance of rain, and have that split-second thought: Holy shit, am I going to have to wear those rubber monstrosities (otherwise known as rain boots) today?

We call them monstrosities because walking in rain boots can be a very unique kind of hell. Why? They are so heavy that they slide off your entire leg with every step, and if you've got bigger thighs, then blisters could form where the rubber meets and rubs against the skin. 


You could wear socks or jeans underneath to protect yourself from this, but then you remember that rain boots are so goddamn hot that sometimes sweat starts to form within them, and then your calves turn into self-contained rain forests.

Then you get to work and you feel absurd because, with your otherwise very nice outfit, from the knee down it looks like you've just come back from a fly fishing excursion. 

It's absurd, really. We are not all Indiana Jones, walking through high water or muddy forests. We are all just going to work, trying to navigate puddles. Why are they all so burdensome and awkward and ugly? 

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We desperately want this to change.

Yes, there are companies who are desperately trying to make rain boots not look like, well, rain boots. 

Hunter's doing a fair job at this, coming up with innovative designs like shorter rain boots, and even shorter rain boots, which could go unnoticed as rain boots under your pants. 

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But personally, we'd rather not pay more than $100 on a pair of bulbous, squeaky rubber shoes that make our feet sweat. That's just us though. If you do regularly walk through rivers, go right ahead. 

The Rain Boot Problem is similar to the Umbrella Problem, which we have also written about. Both of these problems face us when we couldn't be less in the mood, while we are panicked and annoyed in the morning. And each time we even think about either of these products, we get this inner rage that screams: "Why do these still suck so much?"

We have enough to worry about in 2017, so we'd appreciate some designer or brand or person or whatever to step up and cure the rain boot of everything that sucks about it.