Lady Gaga's Apartment Raided For All Assault Weapon Bras
In a stunning development in the war on assault styled gun bras, NYPD officers raided Lady Gaga's New York City apartment Wednesday afternoon. The news comes on the heels of sweeping anti-gun legislation enacted by the New York legislature on Tuesday night and on the same day as President Obama's gun control speech, which zeroed in on assault weapon-styled clothing and potentially lethal lingerie.
The New York state legislation was signed the night before President Obama gave a speech on gun control Wednesday in which he said, "These are a few of the 23 executive actions that I am announcing today, with the most important being the banning of all bras resembling assault grade weapons. I am urging all citizens to find these bras and destroy them immediately."
Seizing on an opportunity, Governor Andrew Cuomo spoke to reporters moments after the president's speech. "The time has come to crack down on bra guns. For the record, we will not tolerate assault bras anywhere in the state of New York. Shotgun, machine, or rifle style gun bras will all be confiscated and disassembled."
NYPD police chief Barney Black immediately spoke out. "When we heard about President Obama and Governor Cuomo's war on gun bras, our attention was directed toward Lady Gaga and her extensive collection of assault styled bras. We have been given the go ahead to search her apartment and confiscate all loaded and unloaded braziers."
It is unclear whether Ms. Gaga was at her apartment at the time of the raid. Word had come that she was possibly on the final leg of her 30th Monster Ball tour, and was soon to return to her hometown for a short break.
Lady Gaga has yet to be reached for comment.
Officials said they would rather her not wear pants than openly wear an assault bra. An NYPD spokesperson said, "We could care less if she wears pants or not. That is her personal business. But it becomes our business when she steps out on the streets of this city in a rifle gun bra."
No one in the NYPD is aware yet if Lady Gaga's assault gun bras can actually hold bullets. One police officer commented, "We are going to inspect all the bras and remove any possible ammunition if we find it. We cannot risk a bra bullet potentially firing in public."
After several hours, reporters were made aware that officials had found close to 50 such M14 fashioned bras, among other costume items. The bras were quickly confiscated and will be taken away for further testing.
In the coming days, investigators will release the results of the bras' ballistics testing, with the hope being that none of the bras are capable of discharging live ammo. This will be the first comprehensive bra ballistics testing of its kind in the United States. And in the meantime, Lady Gaga can continue to live in New York if she fully cooperates with authorities, or she will be court ordered to move to California.