10 Best Grammy Awards Moments
Tonight's 3 and a half hour Grammy Award Ceremony was filled with a high quantity of mid to mid/high-quality moments. We have to focus on these quantities if we want to come away with a good picture of this incredible and mostly forgettable night of pretty good music.
I've gathered here my preliminary estimates for a special report, which I am calling
The Grammys By The Numbys (or, The Grammers by the Numbers)
A carefully calculated list of the night's most nutrageous and salient moments.
12: # of times LL Cool J licked his lips
[PSA = 1: # of ChapSticks it takes to heal dry, weather beaten lips]
8: # of times LL Cool J told a bullshit story about the Grammys being music
4: # of awards Dan Auderbach of the Black Keys won (Highest # of awards won by a single artist tonight)
2: # of awards fun. won (Lamest # of awards won by a single artist tonight)
0: # of awards you or I or any of your friends won (How fucked is that?!)
8: # of times Taylor Swift got giddy and clapped like a schoolgirl
2: # of Marleys that graced the stage
.125: # of Bob Marley songs hat got sung
8: # of times Taylor Swift got giddy and clapped like a schoolgirl
2,000,000: # of Chris Brown and Rihanna tweets
2: # of fucks Rihanna gives about all those Chris Brown and Rihanna tweets
I hope you all enjoyed your nights. Be well.