Seth MacFarlane Oscar Jokes: 10 Best One-Liners From This Year's Host


Seth MacFarlane hosted the Oscars Sunday night, and he wasn't half bad. Here are his best one-liners from the night. 

1. On Daniel Day-Lewis' method acting: “If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the lot, did you try to free him?”

2. On Argo: “The story was so top secret, the film's director was unknown to the Academy.”

3. On Django Unchained: “This is the story of a man fighting to get back to his woman, who has been subjected to unthinkable violence ... Chris Brown and Rihanna called it a 'date movie.'”

4. “As we all know, winning an Oscar guarantees a long successful career in the industry. Look at last year: Jean Dujardin won Best Actor for The Artist, and now, he's everywhere. His is actually a tragic, age-old Hollywood story. He just couldn't make it in the talkies.”

5. To all the nominees: “So you got nominated for an Oscar, something a 9-year-old could do.”

6. “The actor who really got inside Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth. *Audience groans* What? 150 years and it's still too soon?”

7. “Welcome to the Oscars, the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh starts now.”

8. On Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas: “They remember when this town was cocaine trees as far as the eye could see.”

9. "It's Sunday, everyone is dressed up, it's like church except more people are praying."

10. On his selection as host: “It's truly an honor that everyone else said 'no.'”