11 Reasons Why It's Time to Leave Tumblr


via MarissaMayer/Tumblr

The sale of Tumblr to Yahoo for $1.1 billion has caused a rift in the internet. If you don't know what Tumblr is I can explain it really quickly. Tumblr is what introverts use to communicate to the outside world, without it, we are relegated to the corners of our rooms with nothing but our cats and corgis.

Yahoo's CEO Marissa Mayer had reportedly been interested in acquiring Tumblr for the past two months. It's all part of her desire to try and make Yahoo relevant again. Already, Yahoo has moved its official blog to yahoo.tumblr.com. That's how serious they are about this merger. To say that it has upset some Tumblers is a gross understatement. Yahoo doesn't have the best history with acquisitions (see GeoCites and Flickr).

Being the first social media site on the internet, as Yahoo claims to be, doesn't stand for shit. That's like talking about the time you were part of the winning high school football team that went to nationals twenty years ago. It's just a little sad. 

This could mean that some disheartened Tumblr users move over to WordPress. WP creator Matt Wallenweg said that in one hour alone they've imported more than 72,000 posts from Tumblr. Normally, they only import 400-600. It's still far too early to say what repercussions there will be from the Yahoo buyout. 

There will be some people who actually depart from Tumblrs bluish green pastures. Here are eleven reasons why I might actually leave Tumblr.

1. Too Many Feels

How can you go on when you feel like this?

2. Because Yahoo Doesn't Even Know How to Advertise Its Own Products

Via Zoe Stagg:

I saw these all over town this weekend, on bus stops and the like — and while I intellectually appreciate they spent $100 million on this ad campaign, and what do I know from ad men, I do have a question:

Are you selling us special active-teen tampons? Because that’s the only conceivable product you can possibly be, especially given this lovely stock photo you chose. Yay. I’ll pick some up with my Teen Spirit Sparkling Salsa deodorant next time I’m out.

3. The End is Near

So what's the point in even trying?

4. It's Just the Ultimate No

This is how Yahoo is making everyone on Tumblr feel right now.

5. Because Yahoo Is About As Cool As This

Seriously, who uses Yahoo?

6. Yahoo is Basically This Panda

An evil, evil panda.

7. Because The First Mobile Update Looked Like This

Dafuq is this?

8. Yahoo Wants to Make Tumblr Family Friendly

No! Tumblr is about four things: animal pics, GIFS, LOLs, and amateur porn.

9. Tumblr Will Probably Just End Up Looking Like This

Ugly, just like the Yahoo homepage. This is what you have wrought Tumblr, this is what you have wrought!

10. Because I Know One Day, I'm Going to Come Home To This

And then what will we do?

11. Oh, and Because This Will Happen

Thanks a lot Yahoo, thanks a lot.