This is the Creepiest Disney Princess Photo You'll Ever See

Culture

I’ve got some sad news: if you’re reading this, you're probably too old to become a Disney princess.

This graphic, created from information gathered on the Disney Princess Wikia, shows that the heroines of your youth are much younger than you probably thought they were.

In fact, most of them aren’t even legal. Yikes.

From left to right, the ages of the young, young ladies are as follows:

Jasmine: 15; Pocahontas: 18; Cinderella: 19; Mulan: 16; Tiana: 19; Ariel: 16; Rapunzel: 18; Belle: 17; Aurora: 16; Snow White: 14.

Of course, these princesses’ stories are set in times when being a teenage bride wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary. And when I watched some of these movies for the first time at age 5, 16 seemed really old to me — at least old enough to fall in love, get married, and start investing in a 401K.

But to put it into perspective, if the Disney Princesses were living in the time period of the young girls to whom they’re marketed as role models:

Snow White and Jasmine couldn’t drive a car; Belle, Aurora, Ariel, and Mulan (who's not actually a princess, incidentally) couldn’t vote; and not a single damsel could order a beer. The infographic doesn’t even mention Nala, who, at approximately 1-year-old for most of The Lion King, would still be in diapers nowadays. (Just kidding, girls don’t poop.)

What's even more disconcerting is the fact that Snow White is only 7-years-old in the original fairy tale. Disney thought they were softening the blow of the story by bumping her age up to 14, but this still means that her prince basically makes out with a blacked-out 8th grader in the woods.

All those Sexy Princess Halloween costumes just seem creepy now.