'Game Of Thrones' Season 3 Recap: Viewers Need a Break From Tragedy




I mean, crap.

I mean ... Damn ...

What about that last episode of Game of Thrones, huh? Was it the best or what? Bunch of people bit the bullet, Daenerys quite literally owned the city of Yunkai, that fat kid walked around a bit more with his girlfriend with the cute overbite ... A quality affair all around.

If you didn't watch it, here's a short recap [spoilers]:

Robb Stark died. Along with his mother. And pretty much all of his entourage.

I can't help feeling, though, that this “kill off all the good guys” shtick in the series is starting to get a bit stale. Yeah, I'm going full uncouth crude low-brow oafish spoon-playing hillbilly here and complaining about that. But seriously, it seems that the smart money is always on the baddies so far as GoT is concerned, and that kind of pisses me off. I mean, I dig, you know? I have to admit that there's a refreshing quality to it, and sure, it made a ton of sense in this episode (go to a wedding party hosted by the shifty dangerous cold-hearted geezer you just betrayed. Smart play, Robb) but let me ask you this: wasn't it kind of a bummer? It's true that my outrage over Ned's death way back in season one was pretty worn out by now, but dang it if I still wanted to see the Starks lay a serious whooping on some Lannister ass. Just look at that goddamn king kid's smug face. It's like a punch magnet, but no one's punching it! That kind of situation seriously throws all my chakras off-balance ...

Yeah, I know, it's supposed to be an “adult” show, but you know what? Being an adult sucks. Give me my childhood back, I'll take it any day over this grown-up bullshit I'm slogging through. And just because it's got blood and boobies it doesn't mean that it can't throw the audience a bone every now and again. It's more realistic to portray how the evil rich bastards always get their way but I'm already getting a healthy dose of realism from reality, thank you very much, no need to double down on it, Mr. Game of Thrones. When I turn on the tube to watch a show about dragons I don't want to be reminded of the injustice permeating all of humankind's endeavors. Or at least, not that much. And you can talk about art all you want but you aren't writing Gravity's Rainbow here, yo. This is not an insightful meditation on death and the nature of good and evil. You're writing about cool sword fights and boobies. The character development and the grittiness are the seasoning that makes the show worthwhile, of course, but it shouldn't take away from the fun. I mean, answer me this: why do you watch the show? Is it because you want to learn a lesson about the mortality of man or is it because of the dope-ass medieval shit happening all over the place?

And it's not like the show's creators and George R. R. Martin are that much concerned about art anyway, is it? After all, the writing makes clear who we're supposed to root for and against, and sets up two distinct nuclei of good and evil. Killing the characters established to be the heroes is not so much an artistic statement as it is a sort of bait-and-switch tactic for shock value.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it hasn't been a fun ride so far, but the show's better have some sunshine and roses up its sleeve for the future or otherwise I'm gonna end up getting weary of it all. I'm just going to expect every person who isn't completely contemptible to die, so I won't even bother getting engaged with the characters or rooting for them to succeed. I mean, why wear out my poor little sensitive heart over that?

Well, at least Daenerys and Mr. Muffy the Diver Snow are still kicking around, so maybe there's hope on the horizon.

On a side note, why did Bran have to get in the wolf's mind in order for it to attack the wildlings who were all up on Jon Snow's case? The creatures didn't seem to have a problem doing that type of thing on their own volition in the past.