5 Ways to Survive Prison According to 'Orange is the New Black'


As a followup to Arrested Development season four, viewers have yet another Netflix original series that will have them up all night: Orange is the New Black. The show, based on Piper Kerman’s autobiography, consists of an original idea: women in prison. This interesting setting exposes the harsh and unsanitary living conditions of prisons, coupled with the plights of an eccentric group of women.

The unique element of the show is not only the setting, but the characters that shape that already oddball environment. Piper Chapman, the main character in the show, is a former lesbian who was sent to prison for fifteen months after being caught for carrying money for a drug dealing business that her ex-girlfriend, Alex, Vause, ran. The story brings to light the real-life experiences that women face during their time in prison.

Although known as a harsh environment, prison is survivable if these rules are followed:

1. Don't Make Friends

If there is one thing that the prison counselors recommend, it is to be anti-social. Although there are many opportunities to make friends, try not to. Keep to yourself and avoid the activist nun and murdering housekeeper. Caution: watch out for Red, the ruthless chef czar.

2. Get Used to Being Slapped By Your Inmate - aka Your Mom

In the independent and violent world of prison, it is possible for violence to ensue. Older members may bully the newbies, or you may get slapped by your mother-in-a-jumpsuit. The story of Dayanara Diaz is quite popular: While taking care of her sisters while her mother was making drugs, Dayanara followed her mom to prison. Ironically, soon after, her sister followed.

3. Don’t Sleep in Your Bed

As suggested by an inmate, sleep on top of your bed and not actually in it. Why not you ask? Nothing is easier than making a bed and then never making it again. Piper Chapman once asked whether she could sleep in hers. Then she was told that she would be the only one to do so in the entire prison.


4. Know That Yogurt is a Gift

When Galina Reznikov, affectionately called “Red,” offers you something you take it. She works more on a give-and-take system but she offered Piper yogurt for nothing. This meant that Piper has been inducted into the society as an official prison member. This acceptance makes Piper quite thrilled ... until she insults the chef who just so happens to be Red.

5. Accept the Lunch Special: Tampon Sandwich

When you insult Red, be afraid. Here is a story about a girl who had to learn her lesson the hard way: The next day after Piper insulted the chef, she was hesitant to come to lunch. Yet she was pleased when informed that Red cooked a special dish just for her. This sandwich was quite ... unique. With just a tampon slapped in between two slices of bread, the sandwich was not a very nutritional meal.