Breaking: Tim Tebow Trade to Jets Mistake, Rex Ryan Thought He Was Trading for "T-bone"
East Rutherford, N.J. — According to members of the New York Jets front office, the team’s acquisition of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow on Wednesday for a fourth and a sixth round pick in this year’s NFL draft was the result of a miscommunication between head coach Rex Ryan and general manager Mike Tannenbaum.
“This one’s on me,” said a despondent Ryan at a brief press conference. “I heard Denver was accepting offers for what I thought was a T-bone [steak] and that we could get it for a late-round pick or two. So I told Mike [Tannenbaum] that we had to make a push. I just can’t tell you how disappointed I am.”
After the Broncos acquired highly-coveted free agent quarterback Peyton Manning on Tuesday, the Broncos had been fielding offers for Tebow — a devout Christian who led the team to a series of improbable comebacks en route to the AFC West title last season.
Tannenbaum admitted that he was perplexed by Ryan’s insistence that the Jets trade for the Broncos quarterback.
“That explains it,” said Tannenbaum when he learned of the mix-up. “I kept wondering why the hell Rex would want to get Tebow when we just signed [Mark] Sanchez to a three-year extension.”
Many football analysts are lambasting the move.
“What a disaster,” exclaimed New York sports radio host Joe Benigno of WFAN. “Now the Jets have two high-profile quarterbacks who can’t throw. Plus Drew Stanton. God help them. But I guess that’s the idea, right?”
NFL network analyst Deion Sanders was similarly critical of the Jets. “Ryan should’ve known something was up when the Broncos were only asking for fourth and a sixth rounder in the draft. Everyone knows that any deal for a good T-bone steak is gonna have to include a second round pick at the very least.”
When asked about the possibility of Tebow's getting the starting nod ahead of Sanchez next season, Ryan said he’d have to see how training camp goes. “I know T-bone — excuse me,” he said, choking up. “I know Tebow led Denver to some miraculous comebacks as if guided by God himself. But if God exists, I think it’s pretty clear he hates the New York Jets,” said Ryan, referring to the Jets' 43-year Super Bowl drought.”
When asked if Tebow could be a positive influence in the locker room, Ryan was cautiously optimistic.
“We could definitely use some more character in our locker room. I just hope he doesn’t try to preach to Santonio Holmes. Tebow might get eaten alive.”
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