Russia's Military Admits It Can't Defend Against Alien Attacks, So We're All Doomed


If you believe aliens exist, you should be worried that Russia's Aerospace Defense Troops admitted they are vulnerable to such attacks, at least according to Sergei Berezhnoy, deputy chief of Titov Main Test and Space Systems Control Center.

In responding to a bizarre question asked during a routine press conference about a possible alien attack, Berezhnoy admitted that in the event of an extraterrestrial assault, Russian soldiers in his division would be unprepared.

"So far we are not capable of that. We are unfortunately not ready to fight extraterrestrial civilizations," Brezhnoy admitted on Wednesday. "Our center was not tasked with it, as there are too many problems on Earth and near it."

Remarkably, this question was asked in earnest, and answered in earnest. The prospects of an alien invasion must have been on the mind of the journalist in question. It's unlikely that before the question, thoughts of an alien invasion were on Brezhnoy's radar (pun intended), as guarding against such is not the center's primary function.

The space center, located about 25 miles outside of Moscow, controls 80% of Russia's satellites and is in charge of launching spacecraft and ballistic missiles. Russian Aerospace Defense Forces run the division, replacing the post-Soviet Russian Space Forces in 2011.

The odds of an alien assault on Earth are about as numerically close to zero as possible, so Russia's unpreparedness shouldn't cause too many sleepless nights.