'Parks and Recreation' Season 6 Episode 3: The 5 Best One-Liners


Well, the merger of Eagleton and Pawnee is now complete. Now that the rival towns are joining, their respective personnel are meeting and each of our beloved characters is meeting his or her Eagleton doppelganger. Here are some of the best one-liners from the great episode.

1. "Oh Wait, hang on, its Xanax o'clock."

OK, I confess, my favorite coupling is April and Tyynifer — well, maybe Ron and Ron — but the number of one-liners spawned from these two is pretty disproportionate. Perhaps the humor stems from April’s easy manipulation of her idiot twin. Or, perhaps, it's simply because stupidity is so often hilarious. Tyynifer’s take on the vapid, spinning-obsessed, LA girl is right on. And April’s quick and dead-on mirroring of her is hilarious. I do however give Tyynifer credit for this beautiful line.

2. “She's the worst person I ever met. I want to travel the world with her.”

One of the very few lines that April gives us in the deadpan we have grown to love. And she’s right. Tyynifer reminds us of the worst of the California. She's a superficial, self-obsessed Real Housewives of Beverly Hills-type of girl. And yet, oddly, we somehow understand that traveling the world with her probably would be immensely entertaining. For all the wrong reasons.

3. “I like Ron.”

Three simple words delivered by our favorite man’s man. Stated with great satisfaction after meeting Ron Done, his rough-hewn equivalent from Eagleton. Ron thinks he’s met another meat-eating man with whom he can go hunting. All Ron Swanson fans are likely happy to see what seems to be a fun pairing of two macho men. But the joke’s on us — and poor Ron, I guess. Turns out the new Ron is a yoga-nut, a nut-nut, and an aspiring vegan!

4. “I no longer like Ron.”

Sorry, but I have to give Ron this one too. It’s just too sweet a cap to the whole Ron-Ron story.

5. “I’m just trying to stop time with legally binding friendship contracts.”

Leslie is devastated when Anne informs her that she and Chris may be leaving Pawnee to work and live somewhere that is not Pawnee. As she polls her loyal staff, she finds others eager — or even willing — to leave her town. Aghast, she comes up with friendship contracts to force them to stay. Totally in-character: seemingly crazy and done out of an extreme love for Pawnee ... and yet who has not, at some point, wanted a friendship contract.