NYC Election Results: Bill de Blasio Declared Winner Minutes After Polls Close

Surprising pretty much no one, Democrat Bill de Blasio has de facto become the mayor of America's largest city, maintaining an insurmountable lead over Republican opponent Joe Lhota so large that CNN called the race the moment the polls closed.

0% of polls are reporting. However, look at these numbers, courtesy of the New York Times:

Even if these numbers overstate de Blasio's lead by a significant margin, Lhota's still toast.

He's maintaining a gigantic lead in every age group in exit polls, by at least 37%:

And then there's this:

Oh, and then there's this:

Oh, sorry. That's not polling data, that's de Blasio hearing he's now mayor-elect!