Top 10 Reason to Vote For Obama in 2012 (Satire)


Here are the Top 10 reasons to vote for President Obama:

10) He is able to pass bills like the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) and H.R. 347 without losing much support. The NDAA has language in it that states the military can hold U.S. citizens indefinitely without charge or trial. While the rest of us were out partying New Year's Eve, Obama was very busy at work protecting us from terrorist attacks by taking away our rights with NDAA. H.R. 347 makes protesting a felony when Secret Service agents are present. So will anyone protest him now on the NDAA? I don't think so. Well not to his face at least.

9) He is able to take a no-fly zone resolution from the UN and use it to start bombing Libya without getting any real negative public attention. The Libya operation required no congressional approval by Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta. Obama will let Congress know what he is doing with our money and troops after getting permission from the UN. What other president would take the time to let us know about the offensive they start in other countries after the fact? Thank you, Mr. President, for letting us know what you are doing with our troops and money without getting our approval. Drones in Pakistan now? Thanks again.

8) Does crony capitalism while making you feel good about it. He was also able to bailout big bankers by convincing the American people that they are too big to fail. He takes crony capitalism bailouts for bankers and makes it the virtuous choice. He takes crony capitalism and makes it eco friendly with Solyndra. Obama is able to continue to receive money from John Corzine without getting any real negative public attention. John Corzine has always been one of his largest contributors ($500,000) and still has that great honor after the MF Global scandal. 

7) Says he will veto the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act (CISPA). I know what you are thinking. Obama also said he was going to veto the NDAA but later changed his mind. That was different. White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said in a statement that changes lawmakers made to the legislation to accomodate White House concerns were sufficient to avoid a veto. Even though the changes they wanted made the NDAA bill worse, and he still signed it, everyone can trust him this time. The CISPA bill cannot get any worse.

6) He knows what is right. He doesn't need the Judicial branch of government because it slows him down. He told the Supreme Court Justices that they need to approve Obamacare because he thinks it's right and so does Nancy Pelosi. When asked about the constitutionality of the bill her reply was "Are you serious!? Are you serious!?" It is clear in their minds as it should be in all of our minds. They are simply right about Obamacare. Why is the Supreme Court so serious about this? It's not like any of them are up for re-election in November.

5) He is able to take the broken window fallacy and make policy from it while holding his head up high. The famous "Cash For Clunkers" policy subsidized destroying cars to boost auto manufacturing. If destroying capital was good for the economy why didn't he break more stuff? It takes a special kind of man to enact a policy like this and continue to defend it. A man worth voting for.

4) He is fully endorsed by the Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffet, and the Communist Party of America

3) Polls show that when compared to other canidates he is the most electable. Why would you want to vote for someone who might lose?

2) He looked really cool on Jimmy Fallon. 

1) No matter what he does, it's still cool to vote for him.