20 Brief Thoughts on Why America LOVED Bruno Mars' Super Bowl Performance


1. America has spoken, and it wants you to leave Bruno Mars the hell alone.

2. Yes, you.


3. When it was first announced that Mars would be headlining the halftime show at Super Bowl XLVIII, you were skeptical.

4. But according to critics all over the Interwebz, the pop star delivered.

5. People said he was classy:

6. The best show they’d seen in years:

7. Better than Beyoncé:

8. Wait, WHAT?!

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9. Anyway, he was good. But WHY was he so good?

10. Because he wasn’t a girl in a skimpy outfit, apparently:

11. The scantily-clad, wardrobe malfunction-ridden female performers of past years seem to have rubbed fans the wrong way:

12. They wanted a change:

13. And for them, Bruno wearing a gold blazer was refreshing proof that sex doesn’t sell … ?

14. ... Because clearly he isn’t a good-looking guy. Not even a little bit.


15. But their point is well taken. Women are too often expected to display themselves as little more than objects of visual pleasure.


16. And it can be discouraging and disheartening to see this point reinforced on a stage as enormous as the Super Bowl.


17. But even though Bruno Mars was a nice change of pace …

18. ... It’s still sad that the only way the Super Bowl could avoid female objectification was by excluding women altogether.


19. So don’t get too excited, people of the Internet – this isn’t quite the victory you want it to be.


20. We've still got a long way to go. Do better, America.