Mitt Romney A to Z: Your Complete Guide to the GOP Nominee in Election 2012


The long primary season is finally over. Now that we’ve gotten Ron Paul to drop out of the race, let’s take a deeper look at the presumptive GOP nominee for president. Hopefully, after reading this you’ll have a better idea of where Willard"Mitt" Romney stands on the issues. O without further adieu I give you, Mitt Romney, To the Letter: 

Abortion: Romney’s record says he is pro-choice.

Birth Control: Romney says he is pro-contraception.

Civil Unions: Romney does not support the idea of civil unions.

Death Penalty: Romney attempted to get the death penalty re-instated while serving as governor of Massachusetts

Emissions: Romney opposes regulating carbon dioxide and other chemical emissions, saying that he doesn’t think “carbon is a pollutant.”

Federal Reserve: Romney has said he wants to replace Bernanke, and he’d be looking to change the role of the Fed.

Gay Marriage: Romney has pledged to support the stance that marriage is a union between one man and one woman.

Health Care: Romney says he would effectively repeal Obamacare on his first day in office.

Iranian Diplomacy: Romney would redeploy the military into Iranian waters and increase sanctions.

Judicial Appointments: Romney nominated 9 conservatives in 36 openings for judicial positions as governor.

Kickbacks: Romney served as a board member during the famous Marriott kickbacks scandal. Romney is named after Willard Marriott, and Marriott is a large donor to his political campaigns.

Labor: Romney would support laws that prohibit the use of payroll deducted Union Dues for political purposes.

Medicare: Romney promises major reforms, while “grandfathering in” current recipients so that they will not see a change in their lifestyles.

National Defense: Romney will continue increased spending on the military.

Osama Bin Laden: Romney says he would have ordered the raid too despite his statements to the contrary in 2008.

Paperback Changes: Romney admits to changing a line in his book about spreading national health care reform.

Quiet Rooms: Romney wants you to keep it down when talking about income inequality.

Ronald Reagan – Romney voted twice for Reagan but does not want to return to “Reagan-Bush.”

Spending: Romney loves spending money, almost as much as he loves making it!

Taxes: Romney would cut marginal tax rates by 20% across the board.

Utah: He has a soft spot for the “old country” and needs their money too! Hey, he did get you the Olympics.

Values – Romney says he is pro-Life.

Waiting period for guns: Romney supports eliminating the “waiting period.”

X, As in Title 10 - Romney says he would eliminate Title X family planning among other programs (despite being pro-contraception).

Yiddish: Romney doesn’t know the difference between a schlep and a schlub, but his “gay” voice is funny. Right?

Zeitgeist: It means "the spirit of the times" and almost certainly is more appealing to Romney than flip-flops.

Please take a moment in the comments section to espouse a buffet of unbecoming names for me and my list. While you’re at it, let me know how many flip-flops it takes to make a presidential nominee.