Priscilla Chan Says 'I Do,' But Facebook Could Ironically Ruin Her Marriage


It’s June, the beginning of wedding season. Love is in the air all around us, and so are wedding engagements. As many of our friends rush down the aisle to say "I do," others are cautiously trying to avoid what some deem as repulsive wedding updates on Facebook and Twitter. Is this just our jealousy getting the best of us, or are our friends actually going too far with what they post about their weddings?

There are over-the-top ways to announce wedding news on Facebook that can sometimes be inappropriate and take away from the intimacy that the union should bring for the couple. In many other ways, though, Facebook has become a way to share a life-changing moment with a multitude of people with just one click. The real issue that seems to come from Facebook and Twitter engagement announcements is trying to scope what should be more personal, and what can be shared with your social media community.

One major issue that can potentially come up is announcing your engagement on Facebook or Twitter before telling your close family and friends. Something as momentous as a wedding engagement should not be shared with your siblings and some kid you barely knew and went to high school with at the same time. The good news should be shared with those you are closest to, and then with your followers and friends. This can help diminish any resentment or anger a family member or close friend may feel for not finding out before the guy you worked with five years ago, and also strengthens your relationships with those you love and want support from during this next step in your life.

Facebook also should not be used as a tool for invitations. Inviting people over for a costume party is one thing, but using Facebook to invite friends to your wedding just should not happen. Even if you make it a private event, sending a wedding invitation like this takes away from the personal touch that a traditional invitation would give to each guest. If you are trying to keep it green, there are plenty of e-vite websites that can offer a better selection of invitations to choose from. If money is the issue, there are also free e-vite sites to choose from.

There is also a fine line between what is a cute post or tweet and what is a TMI post or tweet. Most friends are happy to share in the excitement and whimsy of a wedding engagement and the planning that ensues afterwards. But this is not a competition or a race against other brides-to-be. Posting pictures is entirely acceptable, but giving risqué details is just unnecessary. Weddings are something intimate, a celebration of the union of two people who love each other. There is no need to flaunt or make a scene about why your wedding is the biggest or best wedding on Facebook. If you want to do this, then go watch Bridezillas for a few hours and reevaluate your choices.

Weddings are fantastic, and seeing a friend’s status go from “in a relationship” to “engaged” is exciting. It is a time to reconnect and congratulate an old friend, new friend, or distant family member on a new chapter in his or her life. There should be personal limits on what is shared, however, for the sake of the intimacy of the couple. Share your love with Facebook and Twitter, but don’t smother your friends and followers. Social media allows you to embrace these special moments with a large group with relative ease, but that does not mean you should share the details of your every move as a newly engaged couple with every one of your friends.