Quell your political anguish with these 6 impeachment-themed gifts

VIa Etsy

As the impeachment inquiry moves along at a rapid pace, with the House drafting charges as we speak, Democrats and Republicans are attempting to persuade the American public that President Trump committed impeachable offenses or that he is being unfairly persecuted, respectively.

But the two major political parties aren't alone in recognizing that this is a moment of concentrated American attention. Small vendors have moved to capitalize on our fractured politics by selling impeachment swag — some of it rather bizarre, if we're being honest — hoping to promote their own thoughts on the process while also cashing in.

While much of the impeachment swag is funny, it's probably worth noting that if one really wants to support the investigation into Trump's alleged wrongdoings, their money would probably be better spent funding progressive candidates or donating to organizations like MoveOn or Stacey Abrams's Fair Fight 2020.

But sometimes, you’ve gotta laugh so you don’t cry. And in this intense, emotionally charged political moment, it can be a darkly comical balm to see the highly specific impeachment swag people are pushing on the internet. Let's dive in, shall we?

Impeachment toaster and jam

Via TrumpIsToast.org

This toaster was invented by Debby Fireman before the 2016 election, though Fireman is now using the current political moment to seek more sales. The website does specify that a portion of the proceeds go to www.needtoimpeach.com, a movement of nearly 9 million people that grew out of a petition to impeach the president.

“Toast President Trump with the Trump Toaster,” reads the kitchen item's eBay listing. “No matter which side you butter your bread, Trump is now yours to toast!" The toaster uses custom plates to char the president's face or his signature "You're Fired!" catchphrase into your sliced bread. Fireman has also created "IMPeach Jam" to, as she wrote in a press release provided to Mic, "really spread it on thick."

Impeachment underwear

Via CafePress

For those who would like to constantly remind themselves and their most intimate partners of their desire to have the president impeached, there are in fact impeachment-themed boxers, panties, and thongs on the market. This particular pink set is being sold on CafePress and is also available in red and white versions, in case you find yourself needing multiple color options to match your daily feelings about America's struggling democracy.

Impeachment wrapping paper

The holidays are already an incredibly stressful time, where people tend to reunite with extended family members who may have very different political beliefs and values. For those impeachment supporters who would like to antagonize their Trump-supporting relatives under the guise of the “holiday spirit,” Zazzle is hawking a roll of impeachment wrapping paper for $23.15. You can also get the glossy version for $8 more, if you'd like your political swipes to really stand out under the tree.

Impeachment holiday cards

Via Etsy

For anyone who would like to push their pro-impeachment message to an even more extended network — and/or those want to antagonize Trump supporters without having them to actually buy them a gift to wrap — fear not, you can choose from a wide selection of impeachment themed holiday cards. Here's one with a little wordplay from Zazzle, while a few intrepid Etsy creators have seized on the theme as well. Perhaps House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will be sending this one out?

Impeachment candle

Via JD + Kate Industries

“Do you smell a whiff of impeachment in the air?” the description for this candle from JD + Kate Industries asks. “Hopefully, yes. Mainly for the sake of the republic, but also because it means that you’re enjoying our Impeachment-Scented Candle!”

This candle apparently smells like peach and mint, though the creators acknowledge that “in reality, an impeachment probably smells like printer toner and sweaty congressional interns sprinting around Capitol Hill.”

In addition to the candle, your purchase will also include a spinner with action steps toward restoring democracy in America, which include subscribing to a newspaper, calling your member of Congress, and attending a town hall.

​Impeachment orange cake​

Some people bake for catharsis; others apparently bake to further fixate on stressful current events that are dividing the nation. If you don’t want to spend money on impeachment swag, then you can just make your own by baking this cake.

“It’s time we freed the orange. In an intuitive act of witchcraft, I created this recipe for Orange Pound Cake,” reads the recipe, first published in 2017. “Sound like anyone you know? Think of this as neo-voodoo baking. The rich pound cake is smothered in glazed peaches. Impeachment has never tasted so good.”