Amazingly, Anthony Weiner asked whether he should return to Twitter

Time to Log Off is a weekly series documenting the many ways our political figures show their whole asses online.

The way it usually works is like this: Some politician or media figure or notable says or does something stupid, or unnecessary, or just plain weird online, and then every Thursday, like clockwork, I write a column picking apart their stupid, unnecessary, just plain weird online-ness before concluding that it’s time for this person to log off.

That’s how it usually works. This week, however, the heavy lifting was done for me, with former United States congressman Anthony Weiner (he of “absolutely could not stop sexting people to the point of total absurdity” fame) returning to the scene of the crime — Twitter — to literally ask whether or not he should log off again after spending nearly a decade offline. It’s like this week’s blog was prepared in a fancy gastropub kitchen by a Michelin-starred chef and served up to me on a silver platter with complimentary glass of champagne on the side.

Sir. Sir! Think what you are asking! “Advice for returning to Twitter”? My god, man, do you even know who you are?? Do you not remember what happened the last time you were online, and accidentally tweeted a picture of your little congressman for the world to see? And then there was the lying, and the investigations, and the apologies, and the movie, and all the other times you simply could not bring yourself to just close your apps, turn off your phone, and take a nice walk. I mean, your being too online played a not-insignificant role in ushering in our current era of MAGAfied fascism. So, y’know ... kind of a weird question, isn’t it?

I reached out to Sydney Leathers, who has some experience with Weiner’s online presence. She declined to comment for this blog, saying, “I don’t want to be associated with a registered sex offender.” I, meanwhile, agree with the overwhelming majority of respondents to the former congressman’s prompt: “Just don’t” log onto Twitter in the first place.

And, okay, look, I get it — Twitter is fun! Plus Weiner’s got a talk radio show to promote, and maybe some intern at the station was like “hey, we need to do some social media for the millennials, blah blah blah” (this was a major plot point in the recent Sex and the City reboot). Now here he is, hat — and hopefully only hat — in hand, back where it all began.

But I’m afraid if anyone has forfeited their reasonable right to tweet responsibly, it’s Anthony Weiner. He signed on, he asked the question, and now he’s gotten his answer. Anthony, it’s long past time to log off. So sad, too bad.