Report: Elon Musk had sex

A report from The Wall Street Journal said the billionaire ruined his friendship with Google co-founder Sergey Brin after he slept with Brin’s wife.

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 02:  Elon Musk attends the 2022 Met Gala celebrating "In America: An Anthology of...
Raymond Hall/GC Images/Getty Images

We already know entirely too much about Elon Musk’s sex life, but the details just keep coming in. The latest in what very well could just be a series of planted stories to remind you that he is single-handedly attempting to repopulate the world: The Wall Street Journal reported over the weekend that the billionaire destroyed a friendship and marriage all at once by having an affair with Nicole Shanahan, the ex-wife of Google co-founder Sergey Brin.

According to the bizarrely gossip-laden report from a publication that usually keeps things pretty buttoned up, Musk and Shanahan had a brief affair last fall. That little tryst seems to have been the final straw in Brin and Shanahan’s marriage, as the two divorced in January. It may have had an effect on the relationship between the two tech billionaires, too: According to the Journal, Brin has been working on selling off his investments in Musk’s companies and distancing himself from anything that bears the name of Tesla’s CEO.

For what it’s worth — which is not much, considering he’s often full of shit — Musk took to Twitter to deny the allegation that he and Shanahan hooked up. “This is total bs. Sergey and I are friends and were at a party together last night!” Musk tweeted Sunday night. “I’ve only seen Nicole twice in three years, both times with many other people around. Nothing romantic.” The language of this does not rule out an orgy, just saying, but try not to let the imagery of that creep into your head.

In a Twitter exchange with Whole Mars Catalog, a Twitter account that is to Musk what Jacob Wohl was to Donald Trump, Musk also revealed some details about his sex life — or, apparently, lack thereof. “Haven’t even had sex in ages (sigh),” he wrote. Which ... alright, man.

Musk also tried to play the whole situation off as a political attack, which is a theory that is garbled by the fact that the Journal has a decidedly right-leaning slant on its editorial pages and has been mighty friendly to Musk in recent years, to the point of absolute delusion.

Does any of this matter? Not really. It’s more gossip about a guy who claims to hate it but sure seems to revel in keeping his own name in the headlines. Frankly, it works out great for Musk. He gets to deny and point fingers and use the story as fodder for his ongoing grievance that any and all media is out to get him. Meanwhile, people keep talking about him and how much sex he has. For a narcissist, that would be a win-win situation.