Surprise! Elon Musk’s dad had a secret child with his stepdaughter

Congrats to Elon and his new half-brother, who is also his step-nephew.

SpaceX owner and Tesla CEO Elon Musk (R) gestures as he arrives on the red carpet for the Axel Sprin...
Musks do be fuckin'

If there’s one thing Elon Musk loves doing, it’s making grandiose proclamations about what he plans to use his unfathomable wealth for, and then backing out of those promises the moment things get a little sticky for him. But if there’s another thing Elon Musk loves doing, it’s having secret children with a number of different women, all in the name of combatting declining birth rates, and clawing back from the brink of population collapse. Or maybe he just likes having unprotected sex with multiple partners. Who can say!

Well, it turns out the extremely procreative apple doesn’t fall all that far from the similarly fertile tree. Which is to say: like father like son. Because as Elon’s estranged father Errol Musk confirmed this week Elon has a secret half-sister, born three years ago following an unplanned pregnancy between the elder Musk and his step-daughter, Jana Bezuidenhout.

Yes, Elon’s half-sister is also his step-niece.

“The only thing we are on Earth for is to reproduce, Errol Musk told The Sun, acknowledging the, uh, complicated (???) nature of his relationship with Bezuidenhout.

“I married her mother when she was 25 and I was 45,” he bragged. “She was probably one of the best looking woman I've ever seen in my life.”

In fact, this isn’t Errol and Jana’s first child together; five-year-old Elliot Rush was born in 2017 in what is widely seen as one of the precipitating factors in the falling out between Errol and Elon shortly thereafter. And, as Errol made clear in his interview with The Sun, his other Musk-kin aren’t exactly thrilled with things either. “They still don’t like it,” he acknowledged. “They still feel a bit creepy about it, because she's their sister. Their half-sister.”

I have to agree: as far as reasons to feel “a bit creepy” go, knowing your septuagenarian papa has been getting down with your 30-something step-sister is a pretty solid one!

Still, despite the obvious tension between father and son Musks, Elon has nevertheless carried on the proud family tradition of having kids and then not telling anyone about it. Twice in the past year has the public learned that the Tesla owner had secret children, both with his ontime partner Grimes, and more recently with an executive at his Neurolink company.

Fatherhood? These guys love it!