So there's this Blood Bones & Butter movie coming at some point too far off to care about. It'll star Gwyneth Paltrow, which could have made it worth seeing in 1999, before she decided to be the good woman standing behind Chris Martin and Tony Stark. You may think that I've buried the lead with all this non-news in the opening paragraph, but you'd be wrong. The big new here is that they've named a foodie memoir "Blood Bones & Butter", which I'm pretty sure is the exact recipe for the O+ flavor of True Blood. This movie has a sucky title, something Hollywood does fairly frequently. There are a lot of movie titles that could have made this list, these were just the first nine that found me. Call it providence.
Some people are convinced this movie will have a kind of creepy-cuteness to it, but the title ruins all hopes for me. All I can think of is a foot-dragging zombie sprouting an erection while the living yell in terror, "IT'S ALLIIIIIIIIIIIVVVEE!!!!!"