29 Things I Hope I Never See Again in 2012
Well boys and girls, 2012 has almost come to a close, and oh what a wondrous ride it has been. Batman died, (or didn't he?), Romney tried, and Barry Zito found his stride. OK I'll admit I was really stretching with that third one.
But, lackluster rhyming aside, the year in pop culture has been one to remember, even if there are some aspects we would like to forget. So without further ado I give you the 29 people, places, and things I predict we will not be talking about in 2013.
29. KONY documentary guy.
First we all watched his video on dictator Joseph Kony, then we watched him talk to himself naked on a San Diego Highway...oh well.
28. Taylor Kitsch.
Hollywood's next leading man starred in two of the history's biggest box office bombs back to back (Savages and Battleship). Someone needs to send Riggins back to Dillon, Texas.
27. Lana Del Ray.
It looked like she might be the next Fiona Apple until she went and made Ashley Simpson look like Celine Dion on SNL.
26. Honey Boo Boo.
A dollah makes her holla, but her show makes me cry.
25. Karl Rove.
He was the brain trust of the GOP until simple math gave him an on-air brain cramp.
24. NBC's Revolution.
Is this the new Lost? Wait, I didn't like Lost in the first place.
23. The kid from Two and A Half Men.
Kid, seriously? They replaced one of the full men with the guy from That 70's Show without batting an eyelash, then again I guess joining a religious cult is par for the course with the actors on this show.
22. The Wanted.
Remember in January when we were all like, "OMFG are you team 1D or team Wanted?" Well Taylor Swift seems to have chosen for us, and everyone knows you are no one in this country until you break that girl's heart.
21. Homeland being the new Mad Men.
Yeah, see season 2 of Homeland for your answer to that, way to go Emmy Voters. You ruin everything.
20. Ryan Lochte.
His Cameo on 30 Rock as a sex idiot is and will be the most highbrow thing he ever does post Olympics. Jeah!
19. The voice of Elmo.
I'll Never be able to look at a "Tickle Me Elmo" the same way.
18. Chris Brown's Twitter feed.
After a violent rant against comic Jenny Jones the "Don't Jude Me" singer deletes his account. Now if we could only delete him.
They didn't work for MC Hammer, They don't work for Justin Bieber, and they wont work for you.
16. America's resistance to the Kardashians.
We tried America, we tried. We thought we could wish them away like Paris Hilton, then Simon Cowell and Kanye West cosigned them. I am afraid of both of them, and so have resigned myself to reluctant acceptance.
Now he's just that singer that I used to know.
14. The term "YOLO."
This phrase is not a justification to do stupid and dangerous things. You only die once too, idiots.
It's time to take your place next to Lou Bega and Los Del Rio in the footnotes of pop music history. See you at the next wedding/Bar Mitzvah I attend!
12. NFL Refs.
Sometimes you don't know what you got till its gone.
11. Jeremy Lin.
I love an against the odds Rudy-esque story as much as the next espn.com trolling nerd. But now when we think of "Linsanity," we all know that we are talking about America's favorite drug addled redhead.
10. Lindsay Lohan.
... Speaking of which, wasn't this supposed to be the year this chick took herself seriously with her big comebacks in Liz & Dick, and Scary Movie 5? Oh wait I just read that sentence out loud.
9. Whitney Houston's extended family.
After the loss of what was arguably the voice of a generation, the last thing I needed was a reality show chronicling the misadventures of her daughter and her step-brother/boyfriend. Yeah, you read that right.
8. LoLo Jones.
There's no crying in the hurdles LoLo.
7. Clint Eastwood, public orator.
Usually we don't film it when the elderly start talking to people that aren't there.
6. Facebooks IPO.
It's world changing! It's AMAZING! Wait, what's the revenue model for this thing? DAMN YOU ZUCKERBERG!
5. The return of No Doubt.
I'm SO EXCITED, I'm SO EXCITED, I'm so... offended by your portrayal of native Americans in your video. For shame.
4. Amanda Bynes.
Proving that Disney doesn't have the market cornered on mentally unstable former child stars.
3. The Wachowski brothers.
Everything they have done since the second Matrix has sucked. Seriously what the f*ck was Cloud Atlas about anyway?!
2. The Mayan Apocalypse.
1. Mitt Romney.
From contender, to pretender, to Splash Mountain, all in six months.