Valentine's Day Food for Thought: Republicans Have More and Better Sex ... And Are Probably Selfish Lovers, Too


Dating site recently released results of an anonymous online survey given to its members regarding their sex lives. The results actually bucked some of the stereotypes we have about dating. Apparently men are looking for commitment, gays are the new romantics, and most surprisingly (to me at least) was the revelation that Republicans have better sex lives than Democrats. More specifically, almost half of Republican respondents claimed to reach climax almost every time they have sex, while only about 40% of liberals did. At first, I found these results slightly counter-intuitive, but my mind raced (stopped for water) and then came up with a few possible reasons for these results. 

4. Republicans Aren't (Overt) Sluts: Bear with me on this one. The survey results also revealed that Republicans have less sex than their Democratic counterparts. Everyone knows know that it's slightly easier for a man to ... reach the Promised Land if he isn't having “mommy daddy wrestle time" as much. Sex is like dessert, if you eat it every day you don't really appreciate it, but eat it once a month and it is a party in your mouth (pun intended).

3. Republicans didn't understand the survey: I'm not saying they are stupid, but how many times have you clicked on the wrong box in one of those online surveys? Did you really care enough to correct it? Personally, I treat the accuracy of anonymous sex survey answers as much as I do the answers on my tax return, but I don't assume everyone else shares this feeling. Plus we all know Republicans have hiccups with voting accuracy in the past.  

2. Republicans are lying to themselves: Yes, the survey is anonymous so no one has any real reason to lie, but studies have shown that people will routinely give answers that are less than truthful, or what they subconsciously believe is the desired answer even when there is no obvious reason to do so. People lie to themselves about things all the time about all kinds of things like global warming being fake, or the effectiveness of "trickle down" economic policies.

1. Republicans are selfish lovers: In taxes, in health care, and in the bedrooms, they get theirs before you get yours. 

Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore