Russian Millionaires Rack Up the Most Boring $247,000 Bar Tab in History
If you're going to rack £130,000 (about $247,000) in bar tabs between two Russian millionaires you would think there would be a little diversity in drink choices.
The Kitsch at Embassy in London received a two-man economic stimulus package this week following an all-out spending competition between a pair of millionaires. These men had a competition that lasted two-and-a-half hours that saw a margin of victory of just £2,000. The bills are seen below and don't offer a whole lot of creativity. A lot of Dom Perignon and Crystal champagne mixed with Red Bulls, "crack babies," and mojitios. I've got a bone to pick with these two millionaires about just how they spent their money here.
First issue: look at all that Crystal. What are you two doing, filming an episode of Cribs? Are you two looking to get into the late 90s hip-hop game? Where did you two learn how to be rich? Pull it together. No one likes a stereotype reinforcer. Go off grid. There are other champagnes out there.
Second issue: If you're two rich 30-somethings from Russia you can't go around ordering drinks that are called "crack babies." Hire a PR guy for your drinking binges for God's sake. Get a tequila sunrise or something. No one is too good for a rum and coke. No one. There's some free advice. Take it.
Third issue: Finally, you're at an establishment that charges around £3 for a bottle of water. Now I'm looking out for you guys here. You can't go around paying for things that are free. Water comes out of that little hose that also will put coke in your rum and coke. They just press a different button and water comes out. I've seen it happen. Best of all, it's free. You can't stay rich forever if you don't know the tricks of budgeting. I've got your backs, fellas. I've got more advice on tap, but I have these pesky student loans I need taken care of.
Read this over and come back in a couple of weeks. We'll see what you've learned. I'm sure Kitsch would love to have you back.