Time to Log Off is a weekly series documenting the many ways our political figures show their whole asses online.
There's a degree of futility in asking — no, pleading — with longtime Trump confidant, convicted criminal, and shamelessly unapologetic asshole Roger Stone to log off. The man is simply biologically incapable of doing anything that might dim whatever spotlight he's called upon himself, if even for just a second.
During an interview with St. Louis, Missouri, radio station Real Talk 93.3 on Wednesday, Stone interrupted a depressingly predictable conversation about how great Donald Trump is to notify listeners that "I have a process server at my front door about to serve me in the latest lawsuit."
"Oh yes, a civil court in the District of Columbia," a surprisingly cheery-sounding Stone acknowledges, to the equally surprisingly cheery-sounding process server. "Not civil, federal," the server is heard responding, to which Stone replies "doesn't matter, still a fraud." Clearly, he's taking this all very seriously.
"Alright, I have just been served in the Jan. 6 lawsuit, live, right here on your radio show," Stone told the astonished hosts after sending the process server on his way. "This is a big, big stack of papers, which is good because we're out of toilet paper." Later, he posted a photo of the documents on Gab — and in the process broadcast his home address to anyone with an internet connection.
This particular suit, one of many spurred by the Jan. 6 insurrection attempt by Trump and his followers, comes from a group of Capitol Hill police officers who accuse Stone, alongside Trump himself and a number of high-ranking Proud Boys members, of helping foment the attempted coup. Stone has frequently associated with various Proud Boy clubs, going so far as to allegedly rely on them for security during his earlier legal troubles.
Always one to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, Stone immediately used this latest lawsuit to direct supporters to his personal war chest, urging his followers on Gab to "help me fight these left-wing vultures by going to StoneDefenseFund.com."
Incredibly, process serving has become something of a notable feature of the various post-Jan. 6 lawsuits, with Republican congressman and fellow accused seditionist Mo Brooks making a valiant — if ultimately unsuccessful — effort to hide out and avoid being served papers in a different suit.
Stone, meanwhile, seems entirely nonplussed about the possibility of further legal jeopardy. That's his prerogative, I suppose, although I have to stress, if for no other reason than my own peace of mind: If you're the sort of person who feels compelled to broadcast being served in a federal lawsuit across the public airwaves, then buddy, it's long past time to log off.