Hate if you must but this year, during an actual pandemic, I somehow found a man who is interested in me. Unfortunately, we're separated by two states and this entire year, we have been forced to only communicate with each other through text and Facetime, which tracks because nothing in my life this year (or yours, probably) has been normal. Now that the holiday season is in full swing, I find myself thinking about what kind of gift to get him that could help us feel more connected. It’s a challenge, but just in case you’re in the same boat I’m in, here are some really fun gifts to help you feel close to someone you’re far away from.
Note: I am a cynical man at heart, so I only included am considering items that did not make me roll my eyes (or made me laugh in a bad way) when I first read about them. You’re welcome.
This pair of bracelets allows two long distance lovers to physically "touch" each other whenever they want by sending vibrations controlled by the person wearing it. The bracelets come with an accompanying app where you can have private conversations as steamy (or platonic) as you want. In addition, the app allows you to also send pictures that only live within the app, and which only your bracelet bae can access. And, not to rely on celebrities for guidance or anything, but Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello use this product, which shows you that even the rich and famous can rely on the relatively affordable object to keep in touch, so to speak.
I am, admittedly, terrible at dirty talk. I’ve always enjoyed a good prompt, however. Which is why this sexy version of the already sexy game — at least when I’ve played it in the past — is indispensable. With prompts like “name a food, drink, or aroma, that has the power to get you aroused,” you two will have plenty to discuss.
I have never had equal parts shock, disgust, and deep unabridged desire to test a product in my entire life. Regardless of the genitalia you or your romantic interest may have, you can gift a replica for those times when you're away. With add-ons like glow in the dark silicone, ball attachments, and vibration capabilities, the ideas truly are endless. I think we have a winner.