In 2007 I was the Constitution for Halloween. Some things never change...
Here are 10 great ideas for those libertarians who want to shamelessly and humorously use their Halloween costume to proclaim the message of liberty.
1. ObamaCare: Just combine an Uncle Sam and Doctor costume with lots of fake blood
Mix and match to taste. Lose the Uncle Sam hat and pull a surgeon's cap over those white curls. Wear those scrubs from the waist up, and candy-striped pants from the waist down. Or vice versa. Complete the look with fake blood everywhere and a chainsaw or grim reaper's scythe.
2. Male and Female TSA Costumes: Terrify libertarians and frequent fliers
"Excuse me, citizen, the Trick-or-Treat Safety Administration needs to make sure your candy is safe. Hmmmm, let's see ... whoa, you have Pop Rocks? Yeah, I'm going to have to confiscate these. This is for your own good."
Any libertarians hosting Halloween parties this year should have a couple like-minded friends dress in these TSA costumes and stand at their front door asking guests to remove their shoes and empty their pockets before entering.
Just don't take it too far and grope anybody against their will like the real TSA. That wouldn't be very nice or libertarian.
3. "Wacko Bird": Drive John McCain nuts and make Rand Paul proud
Keep up the pressure, libertarians! You can make your own wacko bird costume using these step-by-step instructions on Marth Stewart's website. Just be careful. You might want to wear one of these anti-drone hoodies with this costume.
4. Nick Gillespie: Just wear a leather jacket and the right hair style
If you don't already have that (Lego person?) hair style, just add a wig, and voilà! Instant Nick Gillespie. Also be sure to attend parties well, prepared with some good libertarian one liners.
5. "Atlas Shrugged": Just dress up as an ancient Greek and bring a giant inflatable globe
Fans of Ayn Rand's libertarian fiction and philosophy of Objectivism can be her bestselling novel, "Atlas Shrugged," for Halloween.
There are plenty of ancient Greek costumes to choose from online and in costume stores. Just Google "giant inflatable globes" and have one shipped in time to party as Ayn Rand's mythical metaphor for the productive individuals who carry the world on their shoulders.
6. Banksy's Flower Chucker: A Halloween costume for artsy, radical libertarians
This Halloween radicals for peace, love, and liberty can become the iconic Flower Chucker depicted by English graffiti artist, Banksy. The creator of this costume wrote, "My new and improved Banksy costume, fully completed with white painted shoes, a proper black face mask, and, of course, the white face paint. It really was worth it to go that extra distance."
7. National Debt: Just take a sumo wrestler outfit and add a "my name is" sticker
"Hello. My name is The National Debt. Just like sumo wrestlers, my goal is to get bigger and bigger!"
Libertarians can also be The Deficit, Big Government, or Unfunded Liabilities with this costume. If you want to be more conspicuous, make a sandwich board that says "The National Debt" in giant permanant marker to wear over the suit.
8. "They Live" Alien: An awesomely scary costume from a classic libertarian movie
This is a great project for crafty DIYer libertarians who love libertarian movies. In They Live (1988), the world's elite are secretly aliens who use mass media to spread subliminal commands for us to SUBMIT, CONSUME, CONFORM, and OBEY.
As you approach the hobby store cashier with your costume supplies, be sure to say, "I have come here to chew bubble gum and make masks ... and I'm all out of bubble gum."
9. Julian Assange: All you need is the right wig and a good suit
While John McCain's "wacko birds" lead the libertarian charge in electoral politics, Julian Assange believes media disclosures will limit government by revealing its past misdeeds and increasing the risk of future ones.
To pull together your Julian Assange costume, just find the right (i.e. very, very blonde) wig and put on a good suit and tie. Libertarians in London are advised not to wear this costume to any parties anywhere near the Ecuadorian embassy.
10. Wearing a V for Vendetta Costume Is More Relevant Than Ever This Halloween
As the police state marches forward, the Guy Fawkes mask has become an iconic symbol of protest against tyranny. Be V this Halloween, or wear the mask with a suit and tie to be the mysterious Internet activist group, Anonymous.
As an added bonus, you'll have the mask to wear on November 5.