Jordan Valinsky

Bio

Jordan is a writer at the Live News desk. He's previously written for The Week, Betabeat, The Daily Dot and CNN.com.
"Some people say there's too much pork in this town. I could not agree more." That sounds exactly like something the harrowing Frank Underwood would say, but it's actually Frank Underwolf. In preparation for the new season of House of Cards hitting…
Winter won't let go. For the past few weeks, a bubble of arctic air has gripped much of the eastern United States in its chilly paws. From Detroit to Boston, millions of Americans are dealing with record lows, biting winds and heaps of snow, making…
With all the buzz around awards season, it's easy to forget that not everyone has seen all of the Oscars' Best Picture nominees — but that hasn't stopped a few people from lying about it anyways. Jimmy Kimmel found them for a special, post-awards…
Australia has its own Florida Man. His name is Timothy Withrow, and what he did will make you cringe.  Let's start with normal part: He severely hurt his hand with a chainsaw last February, so he called a local hospital to have the wound repaired.…
Eighty-five years after Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's death, there are still mysteries to be unraveled regarding his famous most famous creation, detective Sherlock Holmes. A Scottish man named Walter Elliot recently discovered a long-lost short story…
You may not be able to read this through the three layers of scarves you've wrapped around your head, but just in case: It's cold outside. So cold, in fact, that on the border between the United States and Canada, the iconic Niagara Falls has…
How much money would someone have to pay you to listen to Nickelback for a week? For one man, it's $23,000 — and it's all going to a worthy cause. Jesse Carey, a popular podcaster for Relevant Magazine, committed to listening to the much-maligned…
When a man with the last name "Cumming" is talking about sex, it's time to listen up. Cabaret star Alan Cumming has released a troll-ific public service announcement to lambast the Food and Drug Administration's revamped blood donor policy for gay…
It's more like Whoa of Fortune. A Wheel of Fortune contestant named Rufus blew everyone's minds on Tuesday's show when he solved a 17-letter puzzle — with just a single letter revealed. The only clues he had was the category ("Event") and the one…
Just wait until Pope Francis sees this. In celebration of Ash Wednesday, social media-savvy Catholics are posting "#ashtags" — a selfie that puts the day's trademark forehead mark front and center. Ash Wednesday, which derives its name from the…
Good news for moms and dads who think Green Eggs and Ham is well past its sell-by date: The publisher of Dr. Seuss is releasing a new book by the iconic children's author. Random House Children's Books announced on Wednesday that it is slating a…
Feeling guilty after a case of the munchies drove you to eat an entire sleeve of Red Velvet Oreos? A new study might let you off the hook. Researchers at Yale University have discovered that the active ingredient in marijuana prohibits the neurons…
Billy Eichner doesn't lower his voice for anyone, not even first lady Michelle Obama. In a video produced by Funny or Die, Eichner teams up with an unlikely couple (FLOTUS and "showbiz legend" Big Bird) to promote "Eat Brighter," a campaign fostered…
Ithaca, New York, has an unusual message for potential tourists: "Don't come here." The upstate city known for Cornell University, gorges and the T-shirts capitalizing on them, is in the midst of a brutally chilly winter. So, the Ithaca-Tompkins…
Benjamin Miller  has a story to tell his friends.  The 20-year-old Georgia man traveled to Spain to partake in the country's signature bull-running festival because there's nothing more fun than trying to escape the wrath of a 1,600-pound…
Pizza delivery men won't be replaced by robots anytime soon. After a decade of review, the Federal Aviation Authority released on Monday its proposed rules on operating small commercial drones. The draft calls for pilots to pass a knowledge test and…
The happiest moment of your life will never be as joy-filled as this. Weather Channel meteorologist Jim Cantore experienced peak bliss while reporting in blizzard-blasted New England over the weekend when "thundersnow" boomed above him multiple…
"Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, I'd like to apologize to our Asian viewers — We should've known having Chinese history as a category would lead to highly offensive accents from our contestants."  And with that, the 40th anniversary…
"Nothing about dinosaurs is suitable for children, from their total lack of family values through to their non-existence from any serious scientific point of view." That's what a Christian mother wrote on a message board, in case you thought the…
Marie Holmes truly won this jackpot. The 26-year-old hard-luck North Carolina mother was holding down two jobs at McDonald's and Walmart, but was recently forced to quit them because she needed to take care of her four children, one of whom…